oh_nessa

Sinus Node 3/?

Wed, 30 Dec 2009 13:46:48 GMT

ARIZONA: I’m so tired that I can feel it in my marrow. The day is passing me by as though I’m watching everything on a mute television. People talk to me and I reply gaily, they page me and I consult; nothing breaches anything but the very periphery of my mind. The remnant of feeling her arms around me is enough to drag me through the day, for now.

Bailey is speaking to me as I prepare to administer the medication to my new five year old patient; after a throng of confusing symptoms we are now sure in our diagnosis of diabetes. I remove the cap of the hypodermic needle and move to insert it into the line already placed.

“Dr. Robbins!” I hear Bailey call forcefully and realise she’s been saying my name repeatedly for some time. I halt and look up at her with a furrowed brow.

“You’re about to administer an adult dose,” she hissed, “that’s ten times what she should get, it’ll kill her!” She places her hand over mine and gently extricates the syringe. “Go,” she says simply and I leave the room as I feel the blood drain all colour from my features.

CALLIE: I find her immediately because as much as she tries to conceal herself from me, I know her inside out. She’s not a person of faith at all but is often found in the hospital chapel; it’s the peace that she likes and the fact that nobody questions tears in here. She’s sitting on the floor out of sight around the side of the pews, her back resting against one of their sturdy planks. I sit quietly in front of her and she draws her knees closer to her chest, her arms wrapped tightly around her own shins. Her hands are shaking.

“Bailey found me,” I say simply and quietly. She’s removed her wheelies and I lightly caress the top of her foot, her pink socks drawing a smile from my lips, despite everything.

Suddenly she looks at me, directly into my eyes, and holds the gaze. It’s surprising because it’s been so long since she’s done so, and shocking because her own are brimming with tears and deeply sunken in ashen features. “I could have killed her,” she chokes out and droplets trickle freely down her cheeks.

“Arizona,” I speak her name softly, “you didn’t do anything; we all make mistakes, doctors are fallible, no matter how careful we are.”

She screws her eyes shut against her pain and I feel the image brand my heart. “I wasn’t careful,” her voice is strangled and laced with her anguish. “I wasn’t even in that room, Callie.” She looks at me as though her inner dialogue is violently battling with itself. “I wasn’t there... I... Cal.” My name is a plea from her lips as her whole body seems to fold and crumble; I shift to her side and take her in my arms.

After several minutes of cradling and sobbing and silence, I speak carefully. “I think you need to talk Arizona. Not with me; well, eventually with me, I hope. But for now with... someone else.”

I feel her nod her head against my chest and exhale deeply. “I know,” she raises her head to look at me again, her hands grasping the material of my scrub top. “I really think I need to.”

ARIZONA: I sit on the sofa; legs curled beneath me, and gratefully accept the steaming mug of tea she hands over the back to me. She brings her own mug around the side of the sofa with her and taps at my shoulder to indicate she wants to slot in behind me. She encourages me to settle back against her chest and squeezes me gently with her thighs, wrapping me up with her entire body. Her hand snakes around my stomach and I feel a chin rest against my head.

She hasn’t asked me one question about my session with Dr. Wyatt and I’m grateful. I feel a little better; the pressure has at least been somewhat released but I know that we didn’t even touch on the root cause, that will take much, much longer. I can’t express how much I love being wrapped in her arms, I just hope she understands when I cuddle back into her and take her hand, stroking gently. “I can’t tell you now,” I say quietly.

“I know,” she replies and kisses the top of my head. “I don’t need you to. In your own time, I’ll be here.”

“I love you, Callie.” I’ve never meant it more profoundly than in this moment. The next thing I’m conscious of is her taking my mug from me gently and soothing me back to slumber against her warm chest.

CALLIE: I press my lips together almost violently to abate encroaching tears. She’s completely broken in my arms and it’s the shock that brings hot, salty drops to my eyes. This is Arizona Robbins; this is the perky, confident woman who has scraped me from the pavement so many times I can’t even remember. She’s the one whose arms cradle me and whose scrubs absorb my tears, but now she needs me and I’m terrified that I won’t be able to ease the tightness in her chest and soothe the racing tracks of her mind like she does mine.

I’d take the pain from her if I could and that thought shocks me. Because I’ve loved and lost, I know how it feels to have the wind so completely knocked out of your chest that you wonder at how easy it had always seemed to simply breathe. And yet I’d take it on for her; to hear that carefree giggle and see the return of fairy dust and magic to her eyes, I’d take it all.

She’s playing with a delicate silver bracelet that’s fixed around my wrist. She gave it to me a year or so ago and of all the gifts she’s ever bought for me this is the one that’s really stuck. I rarely take it off except during surgery and idly playing with it during moments of quiet reflection has become a habit of both hers and mine. Keeping a hold of my wrist, she flips herself over, nuzzles into my embrace and pulls a blanket from the back of the sofa to cover us.

“Can we put on a really bad movie and stay here all night?” she asks and I feel her lips brush intermittently against the skin of my neck as she speaks.

“Miracle on 34^th St?” I offer quickly, so glad that she wants to stay here with me and not run away from her troubles, literally.

“It’s nowhere near Christmas,” she looks up at me with what I think might be a brief grin.

“I know,” I tell her, “but it’s your favourite and I know you secretly have the hots for Elizabeth Perkins in a pant-suit so we can make an exception!”

She nods with what might almost be considered enthusiasm and I search for the movie with the remote. I can tell she’s fighting exhaustion and lasts only until her favourite scene, the kiss by the ice-rink, before falling asleep against my chest. As I hold her tightly and inhale the scent of her hair deeply, I resolve that I will be strong enough to carry her through this. She deserves selflessness and patience on my part; this is being in a relationship. And the funny thing is that for her I don’t mind the rough, though the road may be long and rocky, because the smooth... is exquisite.

A Star to Every Wandering Bark 5/?

Wed, 30 Dec 2009 11:26:47 GMT

Author: oh_nessa
Rating: 15
Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me or makes me any profit.
Summary:A continuation of this story of Erica and Lisa. It's ancient now but I found myself with some time snowed in here and preferred fiction to learning cardiology! Hope you guys who are so loyal enjoy :)

Lisa hopped from her car and skipped up the drive. She tried to remain at least outwardly calm but failed miserably as she knocked enthusiastically on the door. When Erica opened it, she smiled widely and swallowed somewhat shyly. They both hesitated briefly before leaning in to kiss. Lisa’s lips hit Erica’s cheek somewhat clumsily. They both stumbled closer and held their hands from roaming immediately, as they instinctively wanted to. Lisa exhaled a small chuckle before gently placing her hands on either side of Erica’s face.

“Hi,” she said, smiling, and softly kissed her lips.

“Hi,” Erica replied. Lisa ran her hands slowly down Erica’s throat and across her shoulders, watching their path as she went. She swallowed and made eye contact again before speaking.

“I’m going to do something that I’ve been thinking about the entire time you were away, O.K?” She swept her fringe from her eyes and looked at Erica through hooded lids.

“O.K,” the blonde whispered faintly, a split second before being pushed carefully but firmly against the wall just inside her front door. Lisa moved in slowly and closed her eyes as she hovered millimetres from Erica’s lips. Her chest rose and fell rapidly and she allowed her warm breath to tickle Erica’s lips. She weaved her hands around the waist before her and kissed Erica deeply, exhaling the tension and excitement that had built over the past few days. She felt warm fingers sweep the hair from her neckline and play with the delicate auburn wisps that lay there.

Lisa pulled back slowly and simply stood for several seconds with her eyes closed, composing herself. Erica watched her, intrigued, and pulled her bottom lip between her teeth as she waited for Lisa to look at her again. The shorter woman did so with a shy smile and a deep inhalation.

“Did you pack a sweater?” she asked as she grasped Erica’s hands and threaded their fingers together. “It can get a little chilly in the evenings, where we’re headed.”

“Which is where?” Erica asked, narrowing her eyes.

“You’ve asked every time we’ve spoken since you left, you really think I’m going to cave now?”

Erica shook her head, smiled and grabbed the overnight bag beside her. “I brought a sweater.”

Lisa smiled and turned to leave the house, brushing her fingers through her long tresses as she made her way towards the car. Erica watched her as she secured the house; she was excited for the first time since she could truly remember about something other than an open, pulsating chest cavity.

**********************

“Well, you just look at the people in the cars that pass by and you make up a story about their lives.”

Erica looked at her sceptically as she shifted in the passenger seat, now a couple of hours into the journey. “That’s nothing like the car games we played when I was a kid.”

Lisa smiled, flicking her eyes toward Erica for a moment before returning them to the road. “Really?” she said unsurprised. “What did you play?”

“My father and I would play car math,” she said quite seriously. “Working out the speed of certain vehicles and the fraction of different coloured cars on one stretch of highway, things like that.”

Lisa allowed a burst of laughter to escape before resuming a forced look of sobriety once more. “You know, I really have never noticed this social awkwardness you claim afflicts you, but if it really is the case, it makes a lot more sense now!”

“O.K!” Erica feigned offense. “My Dad was a mathematics professor and my mother tended to sleep in the back seat on most long journeys so we had a lot of time on our hands!”

Lisa smiled softly at this small insight into Erica’s life, her history and thus the forces that shaped the woman that sat beside her. “Are your parents still alive?” she asked gently.

“No,” she said with a hint of sadness in her voice. “I’m adopted and they were quite old when it all went through. My father was the last to go, two years ago.”

Lisa raised her brows slightly. “Adopted?” she asked. “You never mentioned.”

Erica shrugged and blew out her cheeks a little. “Non-issue,” she said genuinely. “They’ve always just been my parents and I was happy, so I give it very little thought, to be honest.”

Lisa nodded and smiled as she saw a small blue sign flapping in the wind, indicating where she should turn off. “We’re almost there,” her face glittered with excitement as she spoke.

“So I can guess now that we’re going to the beach?”

“You’re very shrewd,” Lisa mocked a little. “Since we’ve been following signs for the Cape for the past hour!”

Erica smiled and sighed contentedly. “I love the coast here,” she said. “I didn’t see the ocean until I was fourteen, you know. It kind of scares me,” she admitted with some trepidation. “I’m in awe of it, I guess. It makes me feel that terrifying excitement that can grip you by the guts and make it hard to even breathe, you know what I mean?”

Lisa looked over at her for longer than she should have on the narrow, winding roads. She focused once more before chuckling quietly to herself. “I... yeah, I know exactly what you mean, Erica.”

The blonde smiled slightly to herself but didn’t acknowledge Lisa’s quiet statement at that moment as they were pulling in to a small car park. Erica sat up straight and cocked her head to look at the comfortable looking Inn that stood just meters from the beach.

“Is this where we’re staying?” Erica asked curiously.

“Kind of; it’s just down the way there,” she pointed to a small cabin a little distance from the Inn. “I’ve been coming here for six years, ever since I discovered the place. It’s so beautiful; peaceful,” she smiled widely at Erica and popped her door open. “Well, in my opinion anyway,” she bit her bottom lip as she stepped out of the car and turned back to face the blonde, leaning against the doorframe, “I’ve never brought anyone to argue about it with me before.”

Erica smiled as a warm rush filled her chest. She followed Lisa down the craggy path to the cottage and surveyed their surroundings as she waited for her to find the keys and open the door. The sea was wild before them and the cabin seemed a small inlet of tranquillity in an otherwise ragged yet breathtaking landscape. Erica shivered slightly as she heard the lock click and keenly followed Lisa through the door.

The living room was simply decorated and glowing in the light of a roaring fire in the very centre. Lisa informed Erica that her old friend from the Inn had lit it for them a little while earlier. The red head cocked her head indicating that Erica should follow her with her bag.

“You can set your things down in here,” she waited at the door to a bedroom and shyly tucked her hair behind her ear before picking her own things up and heading down the hallway.

“Lisa?” Erica called after her, brow furrowed. “Where are you going?”

“Uhh,” she stumbled a little. “There’s a room down here too, I’m just putting... I just thought I should...”

Erica’s amused grin stopped her mid-sentence and she exhaled exasperatedly. She tossed her bag on the floor of the hallway and shrugged her shoulders.

“I brought you here to spend more time with you, Erica. To talk and laugh and... I just, I guess I just didn’t want you to think I came here just to... you know!”

Erica walked towards her down the narrow hallway. She picked up the bag that had been cast aside and grabbed Lisa’s hand playfully.

“If you think you’re leaving me alone in this huge bed when it’s cold and the wind is blowing through the cracks in this place, you’re very wrong!”

She pulled playfully on the hand in hers and as they passed the larger room, tossed the bag inside before heading to the small kitchen area. They both laughed and made shy eye contact as Erica sought the bag that held the wine.

“Glass?” she waved the bottle of red in Lisa’s direction and was met by an appreciative nod as she checked the cupboards for glasses.

“I brought a pasta dish for later,” Lisa spoke over her shoulder as she quickly washed the dusty glasses. “It’s just a simple thing that I make for lazy school nights sometimes but it tastes good and means we don’t have to think about food tonight.”

Erica smiled at her warmly as she approached with the glasses and poured the welcome crimson liquid into both. They clinked briefly before sipping appreciatively as they made their way to the oversized and slightly beaten sofa before the fire.

“I like it here,” Erica mused as she sank into the comfortably worn material of the cushions and waited for Lisa to sit beside her. The redhead folded one leg beneath her and lowered herself close by, draping one arm across the back of the sofa.

“Me too,” she smiled nervously as she swept one finger across the pale expanse of Erica’s forearm, “I like being here with you.”

Erica met the sweep of her hand and linked their fingers quietly, swallowing the lump rising rapidly in her throat.

“I never asked how your conference went.” Lisa questioned her quietly as they gravitated towards each other, finding it comfortable and easy to relax into quiet conversation.

“It was... kinda dull,” she shrugged; “I usually love those things, as tragic as that sounds, I thrive on the latest research and it keeps me on my toes, you know? But I think this weekend, my mind was... elsewhere.” She blushed very slightly, the red tinge of her fire-warmed cheeks darkening one slight shade.

Lisa nodded, failed in concealing her grin and held Erica’s gaze. “It’s not tragic to be passionate about your work,” she assured her: “it’s sexy.” She cast her eyes away shyly and laughed at her own words. “O.K, I cannot pull off that kind of talk,” she shook her head in self-deprecation and pulled their entwined hands to cover her eyes.

Erica tugged them away and nudged Lisa’s chin upwards to meet her eyes. “I think it’s more effective than you imagine.”

She pulled gently on the fingers in hers and allowed her chest to heave deeply with the anticipation of kissing the soft rose lips that were approaching her own.

“Shit!” Lisa suddenly exclaimed as half the contents of Erica’s glass trickled down her sleeve.

“Oh my God,” Erica exclaimed, pulling away and attempting to dab at the red liquid, “I’m sorry!”

Lisa simply laughed genuinely and assured her everything was O.K.

“It’s fine, Erica. It’s just a tiny bit, no problem.”

“No but it’s red wine,” she cried, “it’ll stain!”

“Erica,” she cried, taking both their wine glasses and setting them aside. “It’s really fine.” She leaned in and placed her lips to the blonde’s to quieten her worries. Pulling back as quickly as she had advanced, she rose to her knees and pulled the thin sweater from her body in one swift motion. Her simple black tank top rose with it to reveal her midriff and Erica’s eyes were glued to the toned, pale skin inches before her. Her gaze was only interrupted by Lisa’s hand tugging the material back down to her waist and the appearance of a mischievous grin on her countenance.

“See,” she leaned back in, towering over Erica, and placed her lips millimetres from those before her, “really not a problem.” Erica could feel the steady, warm rush of Lisa’s breath against her skin and the increasing intensity of the rise and fall of her chest as she wound her arms around her torso. She grasped the material of her tank and, with a prolonged moment of eye contact seeking permission, pulled Lisa atop herself and pressed their lips together.

Their bodies moulded easily into each other and into the soft cushions of the sofa. As the kiss developed languidly into an embrace of passion and tenderness, Erica’s foot found its way up the inside of Lisa’s bare, muscular calf. The body pressed to her own seemed to radiate heat at this movement and Lisa pulled away very slightly to exhale a shaky breath into their kiss.

“Are you O.K?” Erica whispered gently as she tucked cascading red hair behind Lisa’s ears.

“I’m good,” she replied, “I’d forgotten how great it can be to just make out like teenagers! But I really think you have no idea what effect you have on me, Erica.”

The blonde exhaled deeply and shuffled so that they were now lying beside each other, her foot remained at Lisa’s calf and enabled her to slip her leg between those already partially entwined with hers. She pulled Lisa in by the waist so that their bodies were flush against each other.

“Do you want to stop?” her voice was husky and low as usual but had taken a further breathy tone that caused a visible darkening in Lisa’s eyes, who simply shook her head, traced a finger across Erica’s clavicle and down to the swell of her breast as she moved back in to kiss her sweetly.

My missing scenes...

Sat, 26 Sep 2009 10:51:22 GMT

They had been sitting at the counter sipping wine and discussing differential diagnoses for almost an hour when Arizona sighed and rested her head dejectedly in her hand. Callie watched her, her eyes narrowing briefly in concern, before hopping from her stool and stepping closer. Her hand ran the length of Arizona’s back and she rested her chin on a cotton covered shoulder to press her lips lightly to the flushed cheek she found there.

“You’re doing everything you can,” she whispered the sentiment she knew meant little almost apologetically. “This kid has you and I and a mother who won’t let it go; he has people fighting for him which are more, a lot more than some kids have.”

Arizona smiled despite herself as Callie reached over to the box on the counter and offered her a doughnut, brushing a little sugar across her lips. She licked the sweet grains away and pulled the figure before her in by the hips. Callie readily accepted the embrace and felt a familiar rush of euphoria emanate from her fluttering chest as Arizona wrapped her tightly in all four limbs, burrowing her head between chin and shoulder.

“I don’t deal with failure well,” she spoke quietly into the warm and iridescent skin beneath her lips, “especially when that failure means a lifetime of chronic pain for such a good kid.”

“I know,” Callie replied with a smile, “I’ve noticed.” She pulled back slightly and cocked her head to the side. “Sleep on it?” she asked tentatively. “We’re over-thinking. Maybe it’ll come if you just let yourself relax.” Arizona nodded and slid from the stool, pecking her lips to Callie’s nose before helping to clear the counter.

They searched under Callie’s pillows for various items of sleepwear and tiredly removed make-up and brushed teeth side-by-side in the bathroom mirror. Callie slipped under the cool covers first and felt her whole body relax into the soft mattress as Arizona moulded herself into her back. She pulled the arm snaking across her abdomen up between her breasts and linked their fingers tightly under her chin.

Callie’s breathing had long since settled into the regular pattern of deep sleep and Arizona teetered contentedly on the precipice, warmed by the soft body pressed against her. She inhaled the smell of Callie’s shampoo from the wisps of hair at her neckline and, on releasing the deep breath from her chest, sat up suddenly and gasped.

“It’s aggravated,” she said breathily. “When he extends or flexes his spine, the pain is aggravated!”

“What?!” Callie turned over and screwed her eyes shut sleepily.

“This kid has a tethered spinal cord, Callie, I can feel it.”

Callie pouted her lips in thought and met Arizona’s eyes with a nod. “Yeah,” she agreed, “could be. CT Myelogram?”

“CT Myelogram,” Arizona confirmed, smiling widely and settling back into Callie’s arms.

“So do you think you’ll be able to sleep now?” Callie asked as she wrapped an arm around a slim waist.

Arizona looked briefly into the eyes that met her own before concentrating on the slight convex of Callie’s breast that was visible above the neckline of her shirt. She traced her finger across the skin there and shrugged slightly.

“Maybe,” she teased. Their eyes met only a brief moment before their lips, soft and gentle caresses guiding their bodies to closer proximity. Callie heard Arizona exhale an elongated moan of contentment into their kiss.

“Arizona?” she whispered between pouts.

“Mhm,” the blonde kissed along the soft, warm cheek that Callie had been sleeping on.

“Do you really smoke?!”

They both descended into fits of laughter, grasping at each other as their breath caught in their chests before Arizona seized the opportunity to roll atop Callie and silence her with passionate kisses.

Sinus Node 2

Mon, 27 Jul 2009 10:22:29 GMT

ARIZONA: I ensure she’s completely exhausted and satisfied before I lay still beside her. She’s drifting on the high of that last shattering release and I know she’ll barely be able to open her eyes now, let alone talk to me. She’s so beautiful; in all her imperfections she’s flawless to me and despite the lump that now, inevitably, rises to my throat, I feel again that I’m doing the right thing.

The flashes begin almost the instant I realise she’s breathing the steady rhythm and pace of sleep. My mother hurtling towards the depths of depression, the flag, the hanger... his face. I’m a doctor and I know that this isn’t normal; I know this is not one of the documented stages of grief but I’m fighting the notion, with everything I have, that I need help with this. I tell people every day that it’s not weak to ask for help, but I just can’t take my own advice.

I lie there for perhaps an hour, perhaps two. It’s obvious that sleep will evade me so I rise quietly and head to the living room. I pick up my scattered clothing and hesitate for only a moment before deciding to put them back on and head out. It’s almost 3am and I know it’s ridiculous, irrational, but I long for the numbing wind and soothing rhythm to cloud my mind for a short while again. I check once more that Callie is sleeping and leave the apartment soundlessly.

CALLIE: I wake and instinctively reach for her; when I find that she’s not there and her side of the bed is cold, I glance at the red LED of the clock. It’s 4.30am and I can already sense that she’s not in the apartment. I rise and check the place anyway but am unsurprised to find it empty. There is no note but the absence of her running gear makes it obvious where she is. I flop down onto the sofa and exhale my worry. I’ve asked myself a hundred times what’s behind this behaviour; it’s been about a month since I noticed it and what I continue to conclude is that Arizona is suffering delayed grief for her brother, triggered by George’s death.

She refuses to talk about it and is becoming increasingly skilled at ensuring that I cannot ask; as is clearly evident from tonight’s events. The sun is casting its first feeble rays into the room and I glance at the door intermittently, hoping that she’ll walk through it every time. In moments like this I always resolve to probe further, insist more forcefully. But I never have and I probably never will. Why? Because I fear that this isn’t about her brother at all. I fear that it isn’t the silent torment in her mind that prevents her from looking me in the eye, but rather that she’s unhappy with me; being with me altogether.

I don’t know how long it took me to fall asleep where I’m sitting but I’m woken by the soft tickle of her lips against my forehead.

“Hi,” she says quietly. “Did I wake you when I left? I’m sorry, I couldn’t sleep.”

Her hand is in mine as she perches on the back of the sofa and kicks her trainers off. I squeeze it tightly until she looks at me.

“Where do you go, Ar?” I ask simply and she averts her gaze once again.

“All over,” she says on standing and heads to the kitchen for water. “It depends how far I want to go or if I want to do hills or...”

“No,” I cut her off. “I mean where do you go?”

The pain in her eyes is so evident in that moment. She looks at me with such childlike longing that I want to wrap her in my arms and never let go. But before I can even stand from the sofa, her expression has changed and she’s plastered a smile across her features once again.

“Nowhere, Cal!” she says brightly, as though the question were utterly ridiculous. “I’m right here.”

ARIZONA: I lean into the spray of water that hits my face and rest a palm against the tile. I don’t know how to appease her in this moment; she’s not stupid and I can tell she’s mad and really quite upset. How can I explain that all I want is for her to be O.K? A wave of fatigue rolls over me and I glance at the time; 6.00am. I could sleep for an hour or two now before work and I finally feel that I might.

She’s waiting for me in the bedroom as I towel myself dry and watches my actions quietly.

“I don’t know what to say to you that will make you see I’m waving a white flag here, Arizona.”

Her voice is unsteady and painful to hear; I meet her eyes for a brief moment but feel myself all too quickly sinking into them, so I avert my gaze. Her shoulders drop immediately and I hear an exasperated sigh from her direction. She can see I’m preparing for bed and goes to leave the room.

At the door she hesitates and turns back towards me. “If I didn’t think you desperately need a bit of sleep, I’d keep pressing, Ar. I...” she furrows her brow and purses her lips as her hand comes to rest on the open door. “I really don’t know what’s... happening here. But there’s something, and that something is stopping you from talking to me or even looking at me properly...”

I swallow a large lump threatening to betray me and force my eyes to meet hers.

“Get some sleep now,” she implores me with her eyes. “But I’m not... I’m not done talking about this.” Her chest heaves as I perch on the end of the bed, she’s about to say something else, I feel, but exhales the words in a breathy sigh instead before leaving the room. I lie down and pull the sheets tightly around my chin, shutting my eyes forcefully against the haze that clouds my mind.

CALLIE: I head directly for the kitchen and run my hand exasperatedly over my face. I just don’t know how to react in this moment. I want to yell and cry and I have a strong urge to throw something. She makes me so mad! I turn on the tap and splash some water over my face, relishing the cool, calming effect of the droplets that trickle down my neck. No matter how hard she tries to push me, no matter how crazy it makes me, my thoughts inevitably return to her well being and I glance back towards the bedroom.

I can see the end of the bed and the sheets that are disturbed intermittently as she tosses and turns. I recall one moment, earlier in our relationship, when she was millimetres from the precipice of sleep, how she told me of her surprise at how quickly she had become dependent on the warmth and proximity of my body in order to sleep. I lean my hips against the countertop and stand for a brief moment before heading back towards the bedroom.

Her eyes are closed but I can tell she’s not sleeping; her shoulders are knitted too tightly and her breathing remains light and quick. I slip into the bed behind her and mould my body into hers, sliding my arm over her torso, searching for a hand. She melts into me immediately and I feel a shaky breath disturb her chest. She grasps my proffered hand tightly and as I kiss her shoulder I forget my frustrations.

“I’m not giving up, Arizona,” I whisper softly into the curls that tickle my nose. “I’m not ready to give up on this.” Her breathing settles and she’s still as a summer lake; she’s deeply asleep within minutes but her hand, vice-like, continues to grasp my own.

Sinus Node.

Sat, 25 Jul 2009 10:57:19 GMT

CALLIE: She’s running more lately. I know she loves it because she’s always banging on about how free she feels on the roads, how much calmer she feels after pounding the tarmac for a couple of hours. But at the moment it’s all the time, every night if she can, and it’s replacing how we used to talk. I watch her lace her trainers meticulously, the defined muscles of her calf flexing as she rests her foot against the chair. I want to ask her to stay; missing her despite the fact she’s gone nowhere. But the tortured look flecked across her irises always fades a little when she returns, slick and panting, so I remain silent.

“I made you a running playlist,” I say as I hold up the ipod she’s now glancing around the room in search of. She cocks her head to the side and smiles at me genuinely, though it barely moves her lips and bypasses her eyes completely.

“You did?” She takes the gadget from me and kisses my head gently over the back of the sofa. She begins to move away but I grasp her wrist and pull her back towards me, bringing our lips together. I search for her eyes, feeling briefly that she’s avoiding looking at me.

“Are you O.K, Ar?” I’ve asked her a thousand times and I get the same answer again. She raises her eyebrows, smiles almost forcefully and nods her head with vigour. It’s her poor man’s version of perky and I don’t buy it for a second. She’s gone before I can probe her further and I head to the window to watch her retreating form bob down the dusky street.

ARIZONA: I know she’s worried about me and I hate making her look that way. Her face contorts almost as though she’s in pain when I dismiss her gentle probing for answers. I do this, I place one foot in front of the other and relish the sound of my rubber soles hitting the ground because I don’t have to think about being the cause of that look. And I don’t have to think about my mother or the anniversary of my brother’s death and, most importantly, I don’t have to feel the burning threat of tears that seems to accompany me everywhere nowadays.

The wind is a little sharp and I enjoy the way it cuts into my cheeks, I can feel them redden as I pick up speed and allow the satisfying burning to reach the depths of my lungs. I’m a strong woman; I’ve always dealt with things by raising my chin, smiling widely and getting on with it. I’m trying so hard to do that now, but it’s getting more and more difficult.

The sun is a brilliant red on the horizon; it’s that part of the day when its slick retreat makes it very clear that we are spinning so rapidly on this earth. It makes me feel a bit better to know that I’m not the only one. My knees are feeling the added pressure of running so frequently so I take a left to run uphill, slowing the pace and impact. I know this is excessive but if I don’t break my body a little bit, I’ll break altogether; I don’t do that.

I can’t crumble and that means I can’t be around her all the time. Because she makes me feel so safe, so loved and sheltered that I could let it all flow so freely onto her shoulders. That can’t happen; she’s too fragile, too raw from loosing George and I would do anything to keep her with me, even if it means damaging me.

I pant as I reach the top of the hill and take in the view, leaning forward onto my own thighs. It’s bracing and I convince myself as I stand here that I’m doing the right thing by her. If she knew what I saw in my sleep, how I hear his voice when no-one speaks or how my heart physically aches at times, could she handle it? I’m struck by one thought alone; it’s my job to ensure she doesn’t have to.

CALLIE: She returns about an hour later, her skin shining with sweat and her curls unruly. She’s never been sexier. I greet her and watch as she crosses the short distance to the bathroom, shedding her clothes as she goes. Her trainers are toed off at the heels and she easily slips off her shirt, dropping it beside the bathroom door. She turns as her fingers hook into the waist of her shorts and looks at me on the sofa. She cocks her head invitingly and suppresses a mischievous grin as the lycra slides down her thighs. This is another symptom of her recent behaviour. Sex, and lots of it.

I’m not complaining, certainly not. It’s always incredible and I love feeling her beneath me, beside me, above me, at any given opportunity. But there’s something not quite there, something’s missing. As I hop from the sofa and join her at the door, she presses her lips to mine immediately, before I can take a breath or find her eyes.

She pulls me into the bathroom and whips off my shirt, casting it aside before reaching back to flip the shower on. As she arches to reach the switch I take her weight through my palm, splayed across her lower back. Her bare torso is a bridge of shining skin before me, the muscles of her abdomen clearly defined like stepping stones leading towards her breasts. I trace a finger from her sternum to her navel down the subtle, muscular line that spans her abdomen. She tenses to return upright and pulls me in by the back of my head, kissing me hungrily.

I’m hesitant for one second because I can feel her urgency and it doesn’t sit so comfortably with me; I consider stopping and imploring her to talk to me but I know almost instantly that I won’t. I won’t because despite her vacancy, I feel close to her when her body hums at my touch and I won’t because she’s flicked open my bra and is gently teasing my nipple to a peak with her teeth. Air rushes from my lungs, escorting with it a low groan as it sweeps past my vocal chords. I hastily kick off my jeans and grasp her tiny waist.

She’s encouraged by this and finds my hand, dragging me back towards the large cubicle. Warm water hits the side of my face as we enter and I push her firmly against the tiles. Her stomach is rising and falling rapidly as she attempts to fill her lungs in the steamy atmosphere. I kiss her neck and taste the difference as the salty sheen is swept away by water, cleansing her skin. My hands wind their way behind her and find the cotton of her panties, the wet material clinging tightly to her behind. My knee parts hers slowly and in one swift motion I push her by the butt so that her entire weight is resting on my thigh. She growls at me and undulates her pelvis, wavelike, to increase the pressure.

She’s always been an uninhibited lover, unashamed to make it patently clear that she wants me, wants it faster, harder. But recently the desperation in her actions has changed; she clings to me and clings to her release as though her life depends on it. I can’t quite decide if it’s devastatingly sexy, or just... devastating.

I remove my thigh from between hers and, slipping my fingers under the cotton of her underwear, replace the pressure with my hand. Being as familiar with her body as I am, I know that she doesn’t need me inside to get there for the first time; I roll my fingers across her with escalating pressure and allow her hips to beat time. She’s almost feral; I watch her, head thrown back against tile and an arm wrapped around my neck, writhing breathlessly.

Droplets of water pool in the corners of her eyes as they are squeezed tightly shut against an encroaching orgasm. She shakes and grunts and tenses as it courses through her before wrapping the other arm around my neck and falling limply into my embrace. She thinks I don’t know why the shower has become her new favourite place to do this; I know she’s mistaken when I feel her hot tears drip on to my shoulder.

Bring on Tomorrow 1/?

Thu, 16 Jul 2009 13:24:48 GMT

She sat on the wide window ledge as the sun began to caress the ragged tops of the mountains like tentative golden digits exploring a new lover’s body. A ray caught her eye line suddenly and caused her to shift her position, lying back against the numerous cushions she had placed there. This spot was one of the things that had attracted Arizona to this apartment; it had looked such a peaceful place to sit and read or think, the view being serene and comfortingly familiar. She held her cell phone to her chest and absentmindedly twisted its sleek casing between her fingers. Her leg was bent at the knee, which she held with her other hand, and her thoughts meandered aimlessly from the gravely important to the laughingly trivial. She wondered had she eaten the last pop tart as her eyes followed the curl of her toes on her outstretched leg, tracing the white skirting at the edge of the window. She smiled slightly at the realisation that if she hadn’t eaten it, Callie certainly would have.

Callie stumbled into the room at that moment. Her hair was pulled back loosely and she vigorously rubbed sleep from her eyes. The blinds in the kitchen cast sharply defined lines of light across one side of her face, the very particular quality of early morning rays making her skin look almost coated in delicate gold leafing. She made her way over to Arizona and shifted the blonde’s legs to make room for perching on the windowsill next to her. Her chin came to rest briefly on the upturned knee beside her before she leaned across to softly brush their lips together. Her head went back to its resting place, arms wrapping around thigh and calf, and she stared quietly out of the window for a few moments.

“Can’t sleep?” she asked.

“My Mom called,” Arizona whispered.

Callie gently stroked her thumb across the pale pink cotton of Arizona’s pj bottoms. What she knew about Arizona’s relationship with her mother had been learnt from fragmented conversations they had had and some bits she had been told by Arizona’s friends in Seattle. It seemed they had been extremely close; Callie fondly remembered one particular amusing story in which Arizona’s mother had taken her to her first gay bar shortly after her coming out. But the distinct impression she got was that the death of Arizona’s brother had taken a severe toll on them both and placed the relationship under some considerable strain.

“She’s coming to visit,” she stated with a deep sigh. Her fingers found those that Callie had wrapped around her thigh and began playing softly with her long digits. “I’ve not seen her since the funeral,” her brow creased momentarily at this admission, “did you know that?”

Callie shook her head and stood momentarily before sitting with her back against the opposite wall and hoisting her own legs onto the windowsill. She rearranged the cushions behind her back and brought Arizona’s legs to rest atop her own. “Will she stay with you? Can I meet her?” Callie asked carefully but hopefully.

Arizona smiled warmly, some of the tension in her features lifting. “You’re all we talk about, Cal. We were struggling to speak at all until you came into my life. I think she knows every minute detail about you that I do! Since the funeral, I just don’t know what to say to her... so I talk about you because that’s very easy. When Ben died I just...” she stopped suddenly, words seemingly sticking in the back of her throat. She felt a hand grasp her calf comfortingly and looked up to meet Callie’s eyes.

“That’s the first time I’ve said his name out loud since he died... how is that possible? I didn’t even realise I hadn’t...” Tears formed glassy pools across her eyes and as she looked out into the sun and blinked, they trickled slowly down her cheeks. She wiped them away quickly and looked guiltily at Callie. “I’m sorry,” she said. “You walk in here at the crack of dawn and find me weeping at the window about this and it’s not even been two months since George!”

“Hey, hey!” Callie leaned forward and grasped both of Arizona’s legs tightly. “I’ve lost count of the number of times you’ve scooped me up in a hot mess of tears, you’re entitled to a few sessions on this windowsill, O.K?” She grasped her hand and pressed her lips to the knuckles. “I do think it’s a good thing that she’s coming though, your Mom. I’m dealing with George, Arizona. I cry about it and I yell at his grave and I visit his family to laugh about him. It might not be pretty or easy but I am dealing with it. But this whole thing has re-opened the wound for you, one that clearly never really began healing in the first place. You just admitted yourself that you’ve not spoken his name since he’s been gone. I think you need to cry, you need to talk to your mother and maybe yell at each other and at Ben.”

Arizona nodded her head sadly and looked thoughtfully out of the window into the middle distance. “Well,” she sighed, “she is coming so even if I don’t really want to deal with it I guess I’ll have to, a little bit at least.”

Callie smiled, rose to her feet and kissed her on the cheek. “Want a pop tart?” she said gleefully.

“You mean you didn’t eat the last one?!” Arizona said, following her to the kitchen.

“Well no, I mean I did, of course,” said Callie with a ‘please’ expression across her face. “But I also bought a new pack yesterday!”

She reached into the cabinet and handed the unopened pack to Arizona who accepted gratefully and sidestepped Callie to access the toaster. The brunette stood behind her and wrapped her arms around her middle, pressing her lips to the gently rippling muscles of her neck as she prepared the treats.

“So your mother really knows every little detail about me, huh?” Callie asked, speaking through lips lightly pressed to skin.

“Mhm,” Arizona confirmed as she thoroughly relaxed into the embrace.

Callie smiled behind her and raised her brows. “Sooo, she even knows what we like to do on a Sunday morning if we both have it off?” Arizona chuckled. “And she knows why I giggle like a school girl every time we pass a pizza place?”

Arizona turned in her arms and draped her own around Callie’s neck. “O.K, so not every detail. But she knows a lot... Is that O.K?”

Callie confirmed it was by leaning in and kissing her deeply. She soothed her worries with the soft touch of her lips and filled Arizona’s chest with the kind of warmth that was beaming at them through the windows. The toaster behind them popped its contents causing them both to spring apart excitedly, collecting their sugary treats and heading back to the window to eat.

Consensus Audacium - Epilogue

Fri, 10 Jul 2009 10:51:45 GMT

Arizona walked towards the officiary first. Her hair, a little longer than the convenient bob length she normally kept, tickled the top of her back and led Callie’s eyes to the sweeping dip of her dress that plunged to the very base of her back. The brunette swallowed a lump as she turned to glance in her direction, flashing a dazzling smile. She returned it immediately before taking her father’s arm and waiting for her own turn.

Arizona’s mother, who had walked her down the aisle of the small room in the hotel in which they had chosen to marry, kissed her lightly on the cheek. She squeezed her hand and rearranged a curl behind one of the flowers in Arizona’s hair before taking her seat. The blonde turned a little where she stood to watch as Callie began walking towards her. As soon as she noticed the pride in Mr Torres’s demeanour and his simple gesture of reaching to grasp Callie’s fingers, her eyes began to fill; she laughed and shook her head as she caught a tear before it could ruin her make-up.

Before she could fully appreciate the simple beauty of Callie’s fitted, bodice-style dress and the cascades of dark curls that flowed across her shoulders, she was beside her and Mr Torres was placing her hand between her own. They shared a look of nervous excitement before turning to the officiary for the short ceremony.

*******************

The reception was already in full swing as Arizona made her way through the tables and dancing guests, handing Callie a glass of champagne as she reached her wife. She kissed her on the cheek and the man who had been speaking to her smiled warmly before excusing himself. They held hands and surveyed the scene before them; smiling faces basked in the mid afternoon sun that bathed the small marquee in the hotel grounds.

“We got married,” Callie said almost reverently.

“I was there,” Arizona whispered back, chuckling slightly.

They watched as Hayley Cole and her girlfriend came towards them, smiling widely and slightly breathless from the dancing. She was sixteen now, a naturally beautiful girl with a big toothy smile and unruly tight black curls.

“Hey guys!” Arizona greeted them both with a kiss, familiarity born of the sibling-like relationship that had grown between the four during the past year. “Having a good time?”

“So great,” Hayley answered, nodding enthusiastically. “We were wondering if you could do us a favour though.”

“Sure,” said Callie, “what is it?”

“I want to send my father a gift to the prison.”

Arizona’s brows tightened at the mention of that man. She was confused and about to admonish Hayley for suggesting such a thing on their wedding day of all moments. But before she could, Hayley continued.

“Claire and I were wondering if your wedding photographer would take a picture of us, you know, a really nice one. And I’m going to send it to him, preferably blown up to life size.”

Arizona’s face softened and she and Callie shared mischievous grins.

“Of course,” Callie chimed in, pulling Hayley by the wrist to a grassy spot outside the marquee. Arizona beckoned the photographer over and directed him to take a few shots of the two as they played around on the grass. As they wrapped their arms around one and other, Claire planted an impromptu kiss on Hayley’s cheek as she grinned widely to the camera.

“I think you have the photo!” Arizona yelled as she checked out the photographer’s digital display. “Your Dad’s going to love that one!”

*******************

Callie quickly bent at the knees and scooped Arizona up just beneath her hips as she faced the door, attempting to use the key card after too much champagne. She squealed as it swung open and Callie stepped across the threshold, almost bashing Arizona’s head against the door frame. She loosened her grip and allowed the blonde to slip slowly through her arms until her feet hit the ground again. Arizona turned, laughing heartily and kissed Callie breathlessly on the lips. She pulled away and leaned to push the door shut before backing Callie against it.

She looked into her eyes with immeasurable adoration. “I love you so much,” she said quietly.

Callie smiled and rolled her eyes as they began to fill with tears. “I love you too,” she managed quietly.

“No crying,” Arizona said and moved in again to kiss her full red pout. “This is our one and only wedding night,” she ran her fingers across Callie’s exposed clavicle. “There’s no room for crying, just lots of happy, hot, sweaty love-making” she pulled back and grinned, “O.K?”

Callie nodded her head vigorously and pulled at the string holding up Arizona’s dress as she walked them backwards towards rose petals and champagne glasses.

Consensus Audacium 6/6

Tue, 07 Jul 2009 22:11:15 GMT

“O.K,” Derek flashed a light across her vision, checking her pupils. “I need you to count backwards from ten for me please.” He had been called as soon as Callie woke, giving her barely enough time to sit up.

“Derek, I’m fine!” she protested as he felt the back of her head.

“Calliope,” Arizona admonished and raised her brows at her.

“10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... Happy?” she asked Arizona.

“What day is it please?” Derek continued.

Callie sighed but complied with his questioning.

“Tuesday,” she said. “Really Derek, I’m O.K. I just want to... what the hell happened to your neck?!” she yelled, suddenly spotting Arizona’s reddened, swollen skin.

The blonde chuckled. “You have a stab wound and a head injury, Cal. How can you be worried about a little bruise I have?!” she came to stand beside her and kissed her cheek lightly.

“Seriously!” she touched the smarting skin. “Did he do this to you!?”

Arizona nodded but they were interrupted by Derek taking Callie’s hands.

“Squeeze my fingers please.” Callie did so and followed a series of similar instructions as Derek tested her motor function and power.

“O.K!” he eventually said. “You are neurologically good to go,” he said with a smile. “But I’d really appreciate it if you wouldn’t do that to us again,” he teased.

“Oh, O.K!” she said, “I’ll see what I can do.”

When he left, they were finally alone. Callie’s father had gone to speak with the Chief about Cole and Arizona took the opportunity to take her place on the bed beside Callie once again. She extended her arm about her girlfriend’s shoulders and rested her lips against her head. Callie closed her eyes and hooked an arm to hold Arizona firmly around the thigh.

“My father’s here?” she asked quietly.

“Yeah,” Arizona replied.

“Did you call him?” she toyed with the seam of Arizona’s scrub pants as she spoke.

“No,” Arizona exhaled a quiet laugh. “They called him first,” she nodded her head at Callie’s questioning gaze. “He’s still listed as your next of kin, so the chief didn’t want me to be contacted at all. It’s only thanks to Bailey that I was told.”

“The Chief? Really?!” she asked incredulously and shook her head. “Has he been awful to you, my Dad?”

“Uhhh, a little to begin with,” she smiled at Callie’s apologetic look. “But we seem to have... I don’t know, formed a truce.”

“You and my father?” she asked as she winced a little at the pain in her side, “you’ve formed a truce?” Her expression was sceptical but she nodded her head nonetheless. “O.K!”

She narrowed her eyes at seeing Arizona’s bruises again and touched her fingers to the marked skin. “I can’t believe he did this to you,” her hand slid down and came to rest on Arizona’s breast bone. “I’d understand if you thought I wasn’t worth having the life half choked out of you, you know.”

Arizona laughed in response and laced the fingers of her free hand with those at her chest. “Callie,” she sighed, “when you were out, I... I just didn’t know what to do. I’ve had serious relationships before, you know that, right?” Callie nodded but remained silent as she snuggled closer to Arizona.

“But this is so different,” her simple words made Callie smile and completely forget the tightness in her abdominal wound and the throbbing gash on her head.

“It is for me too,” she replied.

“Even though Derek told us he thought you’d be fine, when you weren’t waking up, I just... I didn’t know what to do; I couldn’t breathe, you know? It was a hundred times worse than anything Cole could have done to me.”

Callie tilted her head up and smiled as she kissed Arizona’s jaw line. They remained quietly so for a few moments, Callie nuzzling her head further into Arizona’s embrace, sighing deeply and contentedly.

“I’d like to marry you,” Arizona said, almost inaudibly.

Callie blinked a few times and cocked her head to the side, attempting to make eye contact with Arizona, who was staring straight ahead.

She raised her eyebrows and suppressed a grin, eyes sparkling. “Did Derek say that my neuro exam was good? Because I swear you just said you want to marry me.”

Arizona rolled her eyes and turned a little to face Callie. She shrugged her shoulders and raised her brows suggestively. “I did,” she bit her bottom lip and nodded nervously.

“O.K,” Callie said with assurance, her heart fluttering rapidly in her chest.

“Really?!” the blonde answered with surprise in her voice. “I mean, I know we can’t... you know, I know it won’t be legal. But I want to do the thing, the... the family and friends and the ceremony...”

“And the dresses,” Callie interjected with a smile, “the dancing and the cake. I want to, too.”

Arizona propped herself up on her elbow and looked down into Callie’s eyes. She blew out a short breath and looked nervously at Callie.

“Did we just get engaged?” she said, unable to prevent the corners of her mouth from curling upwards. The two began to laugh in short spurts before descending into a full blown fit of giggles. Arizona lowered herself carefully onto Callie, holding her weight off her wound and kissed her repeatedly wherever her lips landed.

**********************

“So the police have taken him into custody?” Mr Torres sought assurance from the Chief, who nodded in reply.

“Well that’s good for him, because I swear if he was still in this building I... well, I just don’t know what I’d be possessed to do.” He took a deep breath and looked intently at the chief.

“I owe you an apology,” he said solemnly. “I can’t say I’m comfortable with Callie’s decisions, I can’t say that yet. But I was rash, I was cruel and wrong in not letting Dr. Robbins in there. I’m sorry for that.”

The Chief nodded. “She’s a good woman, Hector. I feel very paternal towards all my staff, and Callie? She’s been here a long time now and she’s not always had it easy; I know it’s a lot to take in but Arizona’s the one for her. Believe me when I say that, I see a lot of relationships come and go under this roof; this one’s sticking.”

He nodded and patted the Chief on the shoulder. “That much’s obvious. Thank you. Tell me,” he added. “The girl; this Cole had a daughter, correct? What’s happening to her?”

“Who knows,” the Chief said sadly. “Hopefully family will take her in; she’s back on the surgical ward now recovering as she should have been. Her father had stolen the antibiotics we prescribed; they were causing her ill-health but now we’ve stopped them, she’s fine; physically at least.”

Mr Torres nodded thoughtfully and extended his hand toward the Chief. “Thank you,” he offered sincerely.

The men shook hands and the Chief patted his shoulder, nodding at the door to Callie’s room.

“I have a lot of bridges to build,” he said, looking somewhat apprehensive.

“You seem to have made a decent start already,” the Chief replied reassuringly and turned to make his way down the hall.

************************

Callie’s father entered her room to find Arizona helping her back from the bathroom. She was weak and hooked up to numerous lines and tubes so it appeared a difficult task. He rushed towards them and grabbed a few of the bits that Arizona was struggling with as well as taking over pushing the drip stand.

“Thanks Dad,” said Callie. He faltered slightly in his step as he realised how much he had missed hearing that word from her mouth.

They helped her back into bed and made it as comfortable as possible. Arizona kissed her forehead and they shared a knowing smile. “I’m going to the cafeteria,” she said. “I’ve not eaten anything in so long. Can I get you something Mr Torres?”

“A coffee would be very much appreciated,” he nodded.

She smiled, squeezed Callie’s fingers and left the room. The silence was heavy for a moment. Neither father nor daughter knew quite what to say.

“She’s a good girl,” he eventually ventured quietly. “I’m sorry I didn’t have the opportunity to see that earlier.”

“You did have the opportunity,” she countered. There was no malice in her statement. It was merely the simple truth, spoken plainly.

“I... I know,” he sighed. “I mean I’m sorry I didn’t allow myself to see that earlier.” He paused and came to her side, laying a strong hand on her shoulder. “I like her very much, Calliope; much more than I’ve liked any of your boyfriends. And I’m also sorry it’s taken all of this,” he indicated vaguely at her and around the room, “to get me to say it.”

Callie looked at him properly for the first time since she’d woken; for the first time in over a year. “She’s pretty hard not to love, right?” she smiled widely.

“She is,” he nodded his simple agreement.

“I’m glad you think so... Because I... we just decided to get married.”

His eyes widened and he remained silent for a few moments, quietly absorbing her words. “Married,” he said. “That’s... very good. Lovely, I hope you’ll be very happy.”

Callie furrowed her brow and felt her heart tighten a little. “You don’t seem too happy about it. I thought... I don’t know,” she said dejectedly, sighing deeply.

“I’m just a little sad, Callie, that’s all.” He hunched his shoulders and looked older than his years. “I missed your wedding to George and it’s just that I’ve always imagined giving you away on your wedding day; it’s something a father often considers.”

She looked physically pained at his words and averted her eyes so that he couldn’t see the tears welling there. “So you say all of this and you tell me that you like Arizona but that’s it?” Her voice had cracks of anger now. “That’s as far as you go? What, Dad? You’ll tolerate it but no more; even though you like her much more than any of the guys I’ve brought home you won’t give me away to her because she’s a woman?!”

He looked momentarily shocked at her words before cutting her off in the middle of her rant. “Calliope! No that’s not it at all. What I mean is... I... do you want me to give you away?!”

She looked at him and considered whether it was wise to lay her heart out in his path and give him yet another opportunity to crush it. “I can’t imagine doing it without you,” she eventually said quietly.

He swallowed hard, it being his turn to avert his glassy eyes now. “Callie, of course I want to. I just thought... I thought I’d lost the right to assume I’d have even an invitation let alone a role in your wedding to her.”

She chuckled and wiped a stray tear from her cheek. When he leaned in to peck a kiss to her forehead she quickly wrapped an arm around his neck before he could straighten up. For all the hurt of the past year, for the physical pain she was in and for the terror of her ordeal, she cried freely into her father’s lapel.

***********************

“Hey!” Bailey stepped into the attending’s locker room to find Arizona rustling among the things in her locker.

“Hey Bailey,” she replied with her head still stuck inside the dark hole before her.

“She’s doing good right?” She enquired about Callie’s condition.

“Yeah,” Arizona eventually emerged and turned to face Bailey. “Miranda,” she said seriously, “I’ve not had a chance to thank you for what you did for Callie and me. I know it can’t have been easy for you to act against the Chief’s wishes.”

She sat on the bench and tied her shoelaces as she spoke. “You’ve been really great this whole year actually; when Callie really needed that support system she wasn’t getting from her family, you really stepped up. Thank you.”

Bailey pushed her lips out and shook her head modestly. “Don’t mention it,” she smiled.

“You want to hear something really great?” Arizona placed her foot on the floor and twisted to face Bailey who nodded and sat a little further down the bench. “Callie and I got engaged earlier.” Arizona’s face lit up as she spoke the words for the first time.

“Seriously?!” Bailey asked as her eyebrows shot upwards.

Arizona nodded and grabbed a small box that she had set down beside her and handed it to Bailey. “Look,” she said. “When my Mom came up to meet Callie for the first time she gave this to me. She said she wanted to meet her to make sure but that she already knew she was the one from listening to me talk about her on the phone.”

Bailey opened to box to reveal the most beautiful antique engagement ring. “This is stunning,” Bailey said and touched the setting gently.

“I was going to ask her in some grand romantic way, but it just slipped out today; it felt right and appropriate, you know?”

Bailey snapped the box shut and stood, closing the small gap between them. She handed it back and leant down to briefly hug Arizona. “Congratulations,” her voice cracked a little as she spoke. “Uhh, you look after that girl.”

She composed herself quickly and stood up straight as Arizona chuckled. “Do you think I should give it to her now, or wait until she’s out of here and do it properly?” Arizona asked with her brow furrowed in thought.

“I think she’s going to be in here for some time recovering from that surgery and it wouldn’t hurt to have a huge sparkling rock to admire during the long and boring days!”

Arizona smiled. “You’re right. Thanks Bailey.”

*********************

He knocked lightly on the door and heard a small voice invite him in. On entering he found a young looking teenager playing with a hand-held games console.

“Hi,” she said, seeming a little unsure.

“Hello there,” he spoke kindly and smiled widely at the girl. “You don’t know who I am,” he said on approaching her, “but you’ve met my daughter, Dr. Torres.”

She looked immediately apprehensive and guilty. “Look, Sir. I’m very sorry about what happened; my father’s actions were horrendous but I... I promise I had no idea what he’d done. If I could get my hands on him I’d choke him right back for what he did to...”

“Hayley, Hayley!” he interrupted. “Good grief, I’m not here to give you a hard time! Quite the opposite, in fact. I was wondering how you’re doing?”

“Ummm,” she hesitated and eyed him suspiciously. “I’m O.K, I guess. I’m better now they’ve taken him away, that’s for sure.”

He nodded and looked around the room. “Seems like it’s going to be a bit boring for you in here over the next few days.”

“Yes, it will but I’ll survive I guess.”

“Would you find it more bearable if you had something to look forward to?”

She narrowed her eyes in his direction and nodded slowly. “I guess I would. What do you mean?”

“I’m not sure if I’m supposed to be telling people yet,” he sat at the foot of her bed. “But... I think you’re an exception given the circumstances. My daughter and Dr. Robbins got engaged a few hours ago.”

Her eyes lit up and a huge grin broke across her face immediately. “Seriously?!” she beamed. “That’s fantastic! Please tell them congratulations from me! It’s so good to hear that after everything that’s just happened!”

“I was thinking... if you would like, I was thinking maybe you could come to the wedding? There’s no date set as yet but I thought you might like to know you’re getting an invite; I’m making sure of that.”

She looked about to burst and nodded emphatically. “I would love that!” she almost squealed.

“O.K,” he stood and made to leave. “I’ll be back to visit again then.”

“Thank you Mr Torres!” she called as he opened the door.

“You’re welcome; it’s the least I can do. Oh and Hayley,” he turned back before leaving the room. “Calliope tells me you have a suitor, so maybe you should give her a call because you’re getting a plus one.”

********************

Arizona opened the door carefully. She could see through the window that Callie was still asleep and didn’t want to wake her quite yet. She’d allowed her to rest for a good few hours, popping home to call her mother and shower. She thought herself very disciplined considering the ring was all but burning a hole in her pocket.

Callie was a cute sleeper, Arizona had always thought so. She tended to spread herself out as much as possible, something she’d had to learn to work around since they began dating. It worried her a little that right now, despite appearing very peaceful, she had remained on her back and straight as a board; Arizona knew she must be in some considerable pain. She contemplated leaving her a little longer but, in the end, couldn’t contain her excitement and approached the bed.

She checked the ring was placed perfectly in its box once more before bending to lightly kiss Callie’s forehead. She rubbed her nose against the skin there and peppered her lips against it to gently wake her. She stirred and rubbed her eyes tiredly.

“Hey you,” she smiled and guided Arizona’s lips down to her own. “You know, I had this dream that I was engaged to this beautiful woman.”

“Oh yeah?” Arizona perched on the edge of the bed and helped Callie shuffle up into sitting.

“Mhm,” she continued. “She was blonde and cute and very smart. And come to think of it,” she turned and feigned a curious look, “she was the spitting image of you!”

Arizona laughed and kissed Callie’s head as she wove her arm around her shoulders. She quietly placed the box on the blanket that covered Callie’s knees and watched as she looked momentarily confused before picking it up and turning it slowly in her hands.

“What’s this?!”

“Well, conventional wisdom, Calliope, would suggest that you’ll find out if you open it!”

Callie looked at her, rolled her eyes and smiled. She opened the box whilst maintaining eye contact and remained so, breathing heavily for some moments. When she eventually flicked her gaze toward the box, she inhaled sharply and froze.

After what seemed like a lifetime to Arizona, she moved one finger to gently touch the delicate diamonds. Her hands were shaking so much that the blonde took the box from her and removed the ring.

“Can I put it on for you?” she ran the pad of her thumb across the knuckle of Callie’s ring finger and smiled as she nodded in awe.

“It’s just...” words failed Callie and she forced the giant lump in her throat back down. Arizona slipped the ring over the top of her finger and pushed it down past her knuckle. “It almost fits,” she smiled, “I think it’s a little big but it’s not bad for now, right?”

“Where did you get... I mean how long was I asleep?!” she joked.

Arizona shook her head. “I’ve had this for months. It was my Mom’s, she gave it to me that first night you met; I think it was probably the chicken piccata that swung it for you.”

They both laughed and Callie brought her hand closer to look at the ring. “It’s really just perfect, Arizona. I mean it; if I could have designed my own ring it wouldn’t be this beautiful. I can’t believe you gave this to me,” she turned to face the blonde, laced their hands together and kissed her.

Callie’s father cleared his throat at the door causing the two to pull apart sheepishly like teenagers caught out.

“Dad,” Callie beckoned him over to the bed. “Look at this, Arizona just gave me this engagement ring!”

Her father walked over to the bed and took her hand, admiring the piece genuinely and taking the opportunity to keep hold of his daughter’s hand. “I haven’t had the opportunity to congratulate you both,” he leaned in and kissed Arizona’s cheek. “The ring is beautiful; it’s antique?”

“Yes Sir, it was my Mother’s and her mother-in-law’s before that.”

He nodded his appreciation. “I’ve called your mother, Calliope. I hope you don’t mind that I told her; as you can imagine she’s planning the wedding already.”

Callie looked at Arizona apologetically and sighed. “The calm before the storm lasted all of ten minutes then,” she said. Though, despite herself, she couldn’t keep the grin from her face.

“Oh and girls, I hope you don’t mind but I’ve done a little planning of my own.”

“What, Dad?” Callie asked nervously.

“I went to visit Hayley Cole and invited her and her girlfriend to the wedding.”

Both women looked at him in shock for a few moments.

“I have bridges to build,” he squeezed Callie’s fingers tighter and placed a hand on Arizona’s shoulder. “I’m just laying some foundations.”

Consensus Audacium 5/6

Sun, 05 Jul 2009 12:05:50 GMT

Mr Torres slipped quietly into the room, attempting not to disturb Arizona; she stirred a little but simply grasped tighter onto Callie and remained as she was. He sat back in his seat in the corner and watched the two; he liked to think they were both just sleeping soundly. Suddenly, Arizona jumped and propped herself up on her elbow. She looked confused for a moment, squeezed her eyes closed and patted the front of her sweatshirt.

“Are you kidding me?!” She mumbled as she pulled out her bleep and noted the page to the ER.

“Is there a problem?” Mr Torres asked from the corner.

Arizona looked up, surprised. This being the first time Callie’s father had addressed her directly; she wasn’t sure how to respond.

“Uhhh,” she moved a line out of her way and shifted off the bed. “I’m getting paged, if you can believe it.”

She walked over to the window of the room and caught the Chief’s eye, waving her flashing pager and pointing incredulously at it. Picking up the phone next to the door, she dialled the number on the small screen. “Hey, this is Dr. Robbins. I was paged,” she laughed and rolled her eyes.

The chief stepped into the room as she was listening to the voice at the other end of the phone.

“You’re on call?” he asked.

“Well, I thought somebody might have taken care of it, you know!” she said, covering the mouthpiece. “Do people not know what happened?”

He shook his head. “We’ve kept it quiet. Who needs you?”

“O’Malley,” she whispered and continued to listen. “O.K,” she spoke into the phone. “Somebody will be down soon.”

“He wouldn’t call if he didn’t really need a consult,” the Chief said as she replaced the receiver.

“Uhhh, I know but,” she indicated to her pyjama bottoms, “I’m not really dressed for the occasion.”

“I’m sorry, Dr. Robbins,” he looked genuinely so. “If I bring you something to wear and promise to stay with Callie the entire time, will you take a quick look? You’re the only surgical paeds attending here.”

She looked over at Callie and exhaled deeply. “You’ll stay the entire time? And you’ll call me the second anything changes? Took me long enough to get in here, you know?!”

“You have my word,” he said solemnly.

“Get me some scrubs.”

************************

“Chief!” Bailey ran to keep up with him as he headed towards the supply closet.

“Uhh, an update on the situation. The police have been to the house but the girl and her father are nowhere to be found. They have a trace on the car and have their officers on alert. They still haven’t found any weapon but they do have some evidence from the scene that could identify the assailant if we find this guy.”

“O.K, thanks Bailey. I need you to keep putting pressure on them. I have Arizona walking the halls of this hospital now, not to mention the rest of the staff and patients. I want whoever did this found, and fast!”

***********************

Arizona left the room when the Chief handed her some scrubs, glancing back at Callie once more before exiting.

“You can leave if you need to,” Mr Torres addressed him. “I’ll bang on the window if anything happens.”

The Chief looked at him sceptically. “I do need to see to some paperwork; I can do it right at that desk outside. But Mr Torres, we have a call button, if anything happens; we have call buttons so you needn’t bang on the window.”

Mr Torres nodded and smiled weakly as the Chief left him alone with Callie. He turned towards his daughter’s bed and inhaled deeply, blowing out the breath slowly as he grasped her hand.

“So, that’s her?” he looked decidedly uncomfortable despite the fact the room was empty except for an unconscious Callie. “She has front, Calliope. I’ll give her that.”

“You live with her now? I’m... sorry that I didn’t know that,” he smoothed the hair across her forehead. “I didn’t do this to hurt you, Mija. I did it because I love you very much. I did it because I brought you up and I was brought up in a religion that tells me beyond all doubt that it’s wrong.”

He looked confused at his own words, rubbed his bearded chin and exhaled a weary sigh. “But I look at her with you today and I can see how much she loves you; I may not like it but I can see it. And I want your happiness, Calliope. I want that more than anything, despite my stubborn self. So, if you could just see fit to wake up and to be O.K, I think we, Arizona and I, could work something out.”

He waited, barely daring to breathe, hoping that the gravity of his words might somehow penetrate her consciousness and wake her. But she remained still, unmoved, and his expression fell as he released her hand and retreated to the chair in the corner.

**********************

“O.K, Dr. O’Malley, what do we have?” Arizona asked as she approached George in the ER.

“Hayley Cole,” he began his presentation. “Fourteen year old female, presented with nausea, lethargy and right sided intermittent flank pain. On examination the abdomen is rigid; she’s guarding heavily over the right kidney. She’s hypertensive at 160/96 with a normal temperature,” he followed Arizona as she grabbed the chart and headed towards her room.

“Her bloods show raised urea and creatinine, but I can’t find any cause for the decreased renal function. She was admitted yesterday with an open fracture to the left femur, which was treated surgically, but her father took her home a few hours afterwards without our knowledge.”

“He took her home,” she asked, bewildered?

“Yeah, he’s in there with her now and he’s pretty agitated.”

“O.K,” she sighed, “great! I’ll go in and take a look. O’Malley, was she prescribed antibiotics post-surgically?”

He checked the chart. “Yeah, uhhh, 500mg flucloxacillin.”

Arizona raised her brows as though she were waiting for the light bulb to flicker on in O’Malley’s brain.

“How can she be having a reaction,” he frowned? “Symptoms would cease as soon as she stopped taking the drug and she’s been gone for hours.”

“Dr. O’Malley, he took his fourteen year old daughter home hours after traumatic surgery without even telling us. We have to assume that if she’s showing classic signs of delayed reaction to antibiotics, somehow she’s been taking them.” She raised her brows to convey her incredulity at the situation and stepped towards the door.

“George!” one of the nurses yelled for him. “I have the Chief wanting an update on how Dr. Robbins is doing.”

George looked confused; he turned to Arizona, about to speak.

“It’s a long story,” she sighed. “Go; tell him everything’s fine but that this might take a while. And I want updates!”

“Updates?” he questioned, backing towards the phone.

“Yeah, he’ll know what I mean.” She pushed the door open and entered the exam room.

“Chief?” he said on picking up the receiver. “Is everything O.K?”

“Yes, O’Malley. How about down there? How’s Dr. Robbins doing with the consult?”

“Uhh,” George was very confused by this point. “She’s doing fine. I think... Is there a problem, Chief?”

“No, no problem,” he attempted to sound nonchalant. “So how long do you think she might take down there?”

“I’m not sure,” she just went in to see the patient now but Mr. Cole, the father, is pretty agitated so it might take her a little while.”

The colour drained from the Chief’s face as he heard George’s words. He dropped the phone and ran as fast as he could for the stairs.

***********************

“Hi there Hayley,” Arizona checked details on the chart as she entered the room. “I’m Dr. Robbins; I’m one of the paediatric surgeons here at the hospital. How’re you feeling now the pain killers have had a chance to work?”

Mr Cole looked up from the end of the bed as she entered, his eyes widening at the sight of the woman he’d seen kissing Dr. Torres the previous day.

“You’re kidding me!” he hissed under his breath.

“Excuse me, Sir?” Arizona enquired carefully but Mr Cole decided against mentioning anything at this moment.

“She’s clearly not doing great, lady,” he gripped the end of the bed in anger, knuckles turning a shiny white colour. “I wish you would all quit with the talk and just do something!”

Arizona smiled tightly ad turned to Hayley. “So I’ve had a look at your blood work and what I can see, Hayley, is a lot of things that would indicate you’ve had a reaction to the antibiotics we gave you.”

“Well there you go!” Mr Cole threw his arms in the air and smiled gleefully, “I knew it would be some major cock-up on your part! Now what are you going to do to clean up this mess!”

“Well, Mr Cole,” Arizona faced him square on, her behaviour far from mirroring her inner uneasiness. “The treatment is to stop the antibiotics we were giving her. Her renal function should return to normal very soon after the drug leaves her system. This is what’s puzzling Dr. O’Malley and me,” she turned now to Hayley. “Have you taken any tablets since you left the hospital, Hayley?”

“That’s it!” Mr Cole yelled, “you don’t get to start blaming us for your mistakes, woman! Leave her alone!”

Arizona stepped back, eyeing the door to her right carefully. She looked at Hayley once again and nodded her head at the girl’s frightened, unsure expression. “You can tell me, it’s O.K.”

At that he flew at Arizona, his hand wrapping around her throat as he pushed her violently against the wall.

“Dad!” Hayley yelled, a horrified expression dawning across her features.

“You do not get to tell my daughter what is and what is not O.K!” he was seething by this point, flecks of saliva hitting Arizona’s face as he pushed his weight against her trachea, her body flailing against him.

“That stupid bitch girlfriend of yours tried to tell my daughter that what you are, what you do is O.K and she soon learnt to keep her mouth shut, so will you!”

Arizona’s eyes widened as she realised the implications of his words. She scraped at his clothing, her head beginning to feel foggy from the lack of oxygen. She was vaguely aware of Hayley’s movements and shouts in the background, desperately trying to reach them despite her considerable physical deficits. But the one thing she could see, the one thing that was unavoidable, was the deep, penetrating stare of Mr Cole. The man she now knew to be Callie’s assailant was pressed to her body, eyes burning a hole through her own as she slowly lost the ability to fight against him. Tears formed in her eyes as she attempted, in vain, to scream for help, her vocal chords constricted by his unyielding grip.

As the first salty droplet trickled down her cheek and hit her lip the door to the room burst open, the chief grasped the back of Mr Cole’s jacket and wrenched him from Arizona. She dropped to the floor gasping desperately for oxygen and held her smarting, reddened throat. She barely registered the security guards stormed the room and seized her attacker, she barely heard Hayley’s desperate sobs; she could think only of Callie and of returning to her side to will her awake.

George was suddenly at her side. He helped her to stand and backed her into a chair. He was questioning her incessantly about how she was feeling and was there any pain. She answered robotically but was utterly dazed as she felt a cold swab; she assumed it to be antiseptic, soothing her burning throat.

“George!” she suddenly yelled. “I’m fine,” she pulled his hands from her neck and stood. “I just need to get back to Callie.” She didn’t explain her words and he didn’t ask. He just knew that he needed to let her go; someone would fill him in when necessary.

***********************

Arizona pulled off her white coat as she approached the door. She turned the handle and entered the room to find Callie exactly as she had been previously. She tossed her coat over the end of the bed and went to her side. The marks on her throat smarted and she put a hand to them, rubbing gently.

“What happened,” Mr Torres stood cautiously as he noted Arizona’s injuries, “you’re hurt?”

Arizona took Callie’s hand once again and perched on the mattress.

“Yeah,” she said, resting a hand on Callie’s thigh. “We found the guy,” she swallowed and winced at the pain, “or maybe I should say he found me.”

“The man who hurt Callie did this to you?!” She nodded wearily. “And they have him in custody now?”

“Yeah,” she sighed and looked up at him, “he did it because his daughter’s a lesbian.”

Mr Torres furrowed his brow in confusion.

“His daughter’s gay and apparently Callie talked to her about it. So he stabbed her. And he tried to choke me.” Her words were pointed and intentionally frank. She watched as he ingested them and shook her head, tears threatening escape.

“I’m not... I wouldn’t...”

“I know,” Arizona interjected, “but you’re only a stone’s throw away from where he is, Mr Torres. It’s all born of the same hate, the same ignorance and intolerance.” She was neither angry nor agitated on speaking, merely stating the facts as she saw them.

“Callie needs you in her life, Hector,” she addressed him by his first name and held his gaze. “I don’t see any reason why we can’t share her, take care of her together.”

He took Callie’s hand as he listened to Arizona’s words. He swallowed hard, absorbing the words of this woman he found increasingly difficult to dislike and not to respect. Words were beyond him at this point; he knew that this could be a long road, one that he did not relish taking. But as he watched Callie’s chest rise and fall, as he noted the marks on Arizona’s neck slowly developing into a distinct hand shape, he covered the fingers that lay lightly on his daughter’s thigh with his own and nodded once in Arizona’s direction. She exhaled deeply, a little of the weight across her shoulders palpably lifting, and looked back in Callie’s direction.

The brunette’s eyelids twitched at that very moment and, afraid that she may have imagined it, Arizona remained perfectly still except for gripping Hector’s hand a little more firmly.

“Did she just move,” he whispered?

“I’m not sur... I don’t,” Arizona’s voice cracked. “Calliope?” she ventured.

Her brow furrowed and she appeared to be trying to speak. “Arizona?” she croaked, her voice dry and gravelly. Arizona rushed to grab a glass of water and brought it to her lips as she cradled her head. “Yeah, Cal, it’s me, just take a sip of this. It’s O.K we’re here.”

“Hayley,” she spoke again, eyes still closed and obviously in some pain.

“She’s fine, Cal. It’s all O.K. They have him.”

Callie exhaled a ragged, emotional breath and forced her eyes open very slightly, squinting against the harsh light of the room. As she did so, tears flowed freely down her cheeks and she raised her arm wearily to grasp the back of Arizona’s head. She pulled her towards her and held her tightly against her face. When she went to move her other arm to embrace her fully, she felt the hand holding her own and turned her head to look at its owner.

“Dad?” she whispered incredulously, wondering whether she might still be unconscious.

Consensus Audacium 4/?

Wed, 01 Jul 2009 12:15:52 GMT

Arizona was ushered into the room by a nurse and greeted by the friendly and encouraging smile of Dr. Shepherd and the sentry-like stance of Callie’s father, his steely eyes glaring at her as she approached the images Derek had prepared. She met his glare, smiled weakly and turned her attention to a waiting Derek.

“O.K, Dr. Robbins, Mr Torres, I have some things to discuss,” he addressed them both professionally. “I’m aware that you’ll be able to read these scans as well as I, Dr. Robbins, but I always think it best to explain even when family are medical professionals.”

“She is not Callie’s family,” her father interjected.

Derek turned to face him, his glare stern and protective. “Would you like me to continue,” he asked calmly? And on Mr Torres’s ungracious nod, he did so.

“As I was saying, I’ll explain everything slowly and without the medical jargon so you will follow everything that’s being said, Mr Torres,” he moved toward the light box and flicked it on.

“O.K, this is the CT we took just after her surgery. As you can see, this,” he pointed to the back of Callie’s skull, “is where her head hit the floor when she fell. And this,” he pointed to the opposite side of the scan, “is where the brain ricocheted against the skull because of the impact.”

Arizona nodded calmly and watched as Mr Torres’s face drained of colour before her eyes. Despite his acidic behaviour towards her, she felt an instinctive need to comfort him in that moment. Her attention was, however, drawn back to the scan.

“What we can see in this image therefore,” Derek continued, “is two brain contusions. The slightly darker grey patches you can see are what I’m referring to. Now, a brain contusion is essentially a bruise, Mr Torres, a bruising of the brain tissue. What is very positive about your daughter’s scan is that there are no white patches around the area of injury, which is what would indicate bleeding.”

“So why hasn’t she woken up yet? Is there permanent damage?” Callie’s father asked, desperation evident in his voice.

“There could be a few reasons for that. Slow to wake patients, after a head injury and surgery, can take a while to regain consciousness due to a number of different factors. Now, if you look at the scan again you can see that around the areas of bruising, there is some additional fluid. That’s the body’s normal response to any injury; an oedema. But because the brain is enclosed in this tight space inside the skull, lots of fluid means increased pressure.”

“If she has raised ICP, shouldn’t you have considered a craniotomy?” Arizona asked.

“O.K,” he addressed Mr. Torres again. “So, ICP is increased intracranial pressure, which is the fluid that’s gathering squeezing the brain in the skull. What Arizona was asking is whether I’ve considered creating a small hole in the skull to drain the fluid and release the pressure. But,” he turned to face Arizona again, “in my experience, I don’t think that’s necessary. The amount of fluid there is not huge. I think what’s happening is Callie’s body is simply reacting to the shock, her natural defences have kicked in and her body is resting itself, focusing all energy on repairing the damage rather than being conscious. I anticipate the fluid will drain of its own accord; I’ve prescribed diuretics and corticosteroids to help and I’m cautiously confident that she should wake soon.”

Arizona nodded her head and continued to absorb the images before her. She flicked her eyes towards Derek and thanked him.

“Talk to her,” he looked from one to the other. “Touch her and let her hear your voices, we know that sensory stimulation can really help to bring patients like Callie around.”

He nodded with finality and indicated that they may leave. On reaching the door, he placed his hand lightly against Arizona’s back. “You doing O.K?” he questioned quietly. She turned to him and raised her brows lightly, tears pooling in the corner of her eyes. She shrugged her shoulders before words would form. “I’ll be better once I finally get in there. Thank you, Dr. Shepherd.”

“No problem,” he shook his head. “Page me for anything,” she smiled at his kindness, “seriously, a shoulder to cry on, coffee and donuts; anything.”

Bailey approached the two as she saw them leave the x-ray room and told Derek that she would take it from there. She nodded encouragingly at Arizona and linked their arms.

“You ready?” she asked quietly, squeezing Arizona’s arm with her own. “You want me to come in with you? Make sure that ape of a man doesn’t get all in your face?”

Arizona laughed and rubbed her tires eyes. “Thanks, Bailey. I think I can handle him though!”

“O.K,” she released her arm on approaching the door, “but you call me if he needs whipping into line.”

“You’ll be the first to know,” she said and stepped towards the door to Callie’s room. Pushing it open, she felt the rising heat of emotion travel from what felt like the very centre of her heart, through her trembling bottom lip and settling in the salty tears that spilled onto her cheeks.

Callie’s skin was whiter than Arizona thought possible; she looked so young, so vulnerable. She stepped closer to the bed, navigating the small space until she found herself level with Callie’s head. Her hair was stuck to the side of her face from the trickle of cold sweat down her forehead so Arizona smoothed it back before leaning over and placing her lips against Callie’s temple, her own tears moistening her skin now. She stroked Callie’s hair and whispered through the lips that remained pressed tightly against her.

“Hi you!” she swallowed, desperately suppressing the onset of sobs and shut her eyes tightly against invading images of losing this woman. “I’m sorry I’m a little late,” she flicked her eyes up towards Callie’s father, solemn and watchful in the corner, “you know how deeply I can sleep sometimes.” She watched his eyes for a moment and, satisfied that she saw a hint of recognition for her white flag, turned her attention back to Callie.

She reached for a chair behind her and pulled it close to the bed. Callie’s hand was warm and clammy when she took it in her own, so she reached for a cloth on the bedside and dampened it with cold water. Methodically and carefully, she began to wipe down the length of Callie’s arm and rubbed dry blood from between her fingers, speaking quietly as she did so.

“So my Mom called earlier this evening,” her voice cracked once, very slightly, before she controlled it and continued. “She’s coming up in two weeks and you know how much she loves you, so it would be really great if you could be awake for that,” she rubbed a particularly stubborn bit of dry blood from Callie’s nail. “Also, she said she can’t quite get the sauce right for your chicken piccata, so you’re going to need to show her again, O.K?”

“You need to take better care of your hands, Calliope,” she furrowed her brow as she turned Callie’s palm in hers. “I know you’re into all the manipulating and sawing and other ortho... stuff, but I’ve given you like three bottles of hand cream... would it hurt to use one of them!?”

As Arizona continued to tenderly wash Callie’s battered form and talk to her about everyday things, Mr Torres looked on. He noticed the familiarity she had with Callie’s body and to his great surprise, was not horrified by the notion. As he heard Arizona talk to her about their lives, about people he didn’t know and events at which hadn’t been present, he began to feel tightness across his brow and heaviness settle in his chest.

*********************

“Dad,” Hayley screwed her eyes shut and swallowed the rising feeling of nausea she was experiencing. “Something’s wrong. I feel bad.”

“You just had surgery, Hayley,” he said on entering the room. “Of course you don’t feel on top form. Here, take these antibiotics.”

“Where did you get these?” she asked as she took one with water.

“That’s not important. They’re what you were prescribed so don’t worry about where I got them.”

“I have a pain in my side, Dad,” she looked at him earnestly, hoping he might see sense. “I don’t think this is right. I think we should go back.”

“No! Hayley,” he shot back at her. “Get some sleep.”

*********************

Mr Torres got to his feet and made his way to the door. He turned to face the two women, Arizona still wittering away, something about when they first met and a bathroom.

“I’m going to call Calliope’s mother,” he addressed Arizona abruptly. “Are you staying with her?”

“Yeah,” she replied tiredly. “I’m staying right here.”

He nodded once, curtly, and grabbed the door handle.

“Mr Torres!” Arizona cried to stop him before he left. “Please tell her, your wife; please tell her that Calliope didn’t forget her birthday. The gift is wrapped and ready to go in our kitchen, she was going to post it tomorrow, well, today I guess. She didn’t forget.”

He contemplated her for a brief moment, nodded his head and left the room.

Arizona turned back to Callie and smiled in her direction.

“Your Dad just left,” she said. “He went to update your Mom,” she exhaled deeply and trailed her fingernails down Callie’s forearm, “it would be really great if by the next update you could be awake.”

She stood from her chair and began to manoeuvre all the tubes and wires Callie was hooked up to. “I know you’re the sick one and everything,” she perched herself on the edge of the mattress and made sure she wasn’t pulling on any cannulas, “but I’m so tired. I got maybe three hours sleep and I seem to remember you promising me cuddles, so I’m collecting right now if that’s O.K.”

She lay down next to Callie, rolling on her side to face her and in order to fit on the narrow patch of free mattress. She hooked a leg over Callie’s two and pushed her face into the crook of her neck. As she held on tightly and shut her eyes, breathing in her girlfriend, she felt her torso heave intermittently and uninvited tears dampening their pillow.

“Please,” she whispered and laced her fingers with those at Callie’s other side. “Please be O.K, Calliope. Please.

*************************

“I need a Doctor here right now!!” Mr Cole yelled as he struggled with the weight of his daughter in arms.

“Sir, bring her through here please.” George opened the door to an examination room an indicated to the bed upon which Mr Cole placed his daughter, writhing in pain.

“Can you tell me what happened please?” George directed his question to Mr Cole.

“She’s clearly in excruciating pain! That’s what’s happened. Do something!”

“Sir, my questions are a necessary part of the examination,” George replied calmly. “I need this information in order to effectively treat your daughter.”

At that moment, a nurse from the admission desk entered and handed George a chart. He looked it over and saw that this young girl had left the surgical wing some hours previously.

“So she had surgery earlier,” he ventured carefully?

“She did, but on her leg! She’s clutching her side now, obviously it’s not related!”

“Sir, may I ask why you took Hayley home? I mean, why did you just take her without letting us know?”

“Listen, kid!” his voice was dripping with poison, “this chit chat isn’t helping my daughter, I just didn’t like the way we were being treated, will you please quit being utterly useless and do something for her!”

At that, George turned to gather various bits of kit and prepared to gain venous access.

**********************

Mr Torres stood outside his daughter’s room, the blinds now no longer closed; he watched her from his position at the nurses’ station, sipping his coffee. Arizona remained lying at her side, now clearly asleep with her arms wrapped tightly around his daughter. He sighed deeply, shaking his head.

“How can you not smile when you see that?” Bailey came to stand beside him. “How can you not see what I see?”

He turned his head to face her. “And what exactly do you see, dare I ask, Dr. Bailey?”

“Right now? I see a woman who so very clearly cares deeply for your daughter. I see a woman pleading, begging with someone, anyone that she be all right. And I see love; they’re very much in love Mr Torres and it’s a beautiful thing to see.”

“They had a house warming a few months ago,” Bailey continued. “Did you know they live together now?”

He felt the same twinge of sorrow as before on realising how little he knew of his daughter’s life now. “I did not,” he answered.

“Well they do, and we all went to the party when they moved in,” she turned her face towards him momentarily and raised her brows, gauging his reaction. “It was a great night. Your daughter knows how to throw a party.”

“She does indeed,” he smiled proudly. “I taught her.”

“But you know what; it’s not the dancing or the drunken misbehaviour of my colleagues that I’ll remember, it’s what I saw between those two. They have such a partnership, Mr Torres. They look after one and other, they make each other laugh and they’re always each other’s first consideration. They have one of those relationships that, when you’re looking at it from the outside, you really envy it.”

He went to speak, he was about to argue with her but then his gaze found the limp form of his daughter once again, her head cradled in Arizona’s arms. Bailey noticed how he faltered and allowed him to ingest her words for a few silent moments as he watched his daughter lie there.

“What else could any parent ask for?” she added quietly and left him alone.

***********************

“Uhhh, nurse?” George stopped the passing RN as he searched the ER admissions desk, brow furrowed. “I can’t get my head around these blood results for Hayley Cole. Her renal function is all over the place. Who’s the paediatric surgeon on call please?”

“That depends what time it is,” she replied. “If it’s before 6am, it’s doctor Ellis, if it’s after, Dr. Robbins.”

“Thanks, uhhh” George muttered as he flipped his watch around his wrist to see. 06.07, it read. “Could you page Dr. Robbins then please, I’m going to need a consult.”

Consensus Audacium 3/?

Mon, 29 Jun 2009 19:57:29 GMT

“Bailey?!” Arizona ran toward her; still wearing her pyjama bottoms and a Johns Hopkins hoodie, she tucked wild curls that she had clearly not tamed after sleeping on them behind her ear. “Where is she?”

“She’s up in high dependency.”

“How did this happen... I mean how was she hurt, who performed the surgery?” Arizona’s eyes were puffy and the tension in her brow was clearly evident.

“She was stabbed, we don’t know who,” Arizona’s face contorted at Bailey’s words. “She also hit her head falling down the stairs. The surgery to repair the liver was a success though, I performed it myse...”

“Wait, wait!” Arizona interjected, the haze of confusion beginning to clear. “She’s had surgery? She’s been stabilised, had surgery, and is in the HDU and you called me fifteen minutes ago?! When did this happen?”

“We found her about three hours ago,” was all Bailey could say.

“And I’m only arriving now?! How is that possible? Take me to see her, Bailey, I want to see her now.”

“I... we can’t go up there right now,” Bailey said, looking physically pained. “I called you against the express wishes of the chief. When an intern was asked to call next of kin we thought he knew we meant you; he didn’t.”

Realization dawned across Arizona’s features. “And he doesn’t want me near her.” It wasn’t a question; Arizona whispered it dejectedly as tears began to flow down her cheeks. “I have to get to her,” she sniffled. “She needs to hear my voice, to feel me holding her hand. That man disowned her, Bailey. He hasn’t spoken one word to her in over a year. I need to be with her now.”

Arizona decided at that moment that discussing the matter was no longer an appropriate use of her time. She made determined, deliberate eye contact with Bailey before stepping around her and heading for the elevator.

“Arizona, you can’t go up there right now.”

The blonde ignored her and began violently stabbing at the call button for the elevator.

“I can and I am,” she replied angrily.

The doors slid open to reveal the Chief standing before them.

“Dr. Robbins?” his eyes shot wide open and found Bailey’s indignant stare in response. “Where are you going?”

“I don’t think you need me to answer that question, Chief Webber,” she said as she stepped into the elevator. As she pressed the button for the correct floor, the Chief went to press the emergency stop. Before the car could close around them, Arizona stepped from its confines and began heading for the stairs.

“This in unbelievable!” she cried as she jogged toward the door.

“Dr. Robbins!” he yelled as he struggled to keep up with her when she began taking two steps at a time. “Arizona, you need to stop right there. You have no right to see Callie right now, her father has expressly stated that you should not be allowed to see her. I’m sorry and I am aware that this is a difficult situation but...”

She whipped around on her heel and almost collided with him as he flew up the stairs behind her. “Difficult situation?!” she yelled, incredulous. “My girlfriend is lying unconscious in a hospital bed and you are refusing to allow me visitation! This is not a ‘difficult situation’, Sir. It’s as straight forward as it gets,” she lowered her voice now, clenching her jaw tightly and rolling up the sleeves of her sweatshirt. “I am going in there, if I have to face your wrath, get slapped a million dollar law suit and physically fight her father, I am going in there. Understand?!” And with a final, almost stoic glance in his direction, she turned and continued her sprint up the stairs.

*********************

“Come on sweetie, we need to leave right now.”

Mr Cole attempted to lift his sleepy daughter from the bed.

“You have to help me, Hayley. We need to go and you’re too heavy for me to lift.”

Hayley stirred and spoke groggily. “Dad, I just had surgery two hours ago! We can’t leave, I’m not ready yet.”

“Hayley,” he spoke sternly and pulled her into sitting, “I’ve brought you these crutches and I’ll help you pull some sweats over the cast but we are leaving now!”

Hayley sighed deeply, knowing that she had little choice but to obey him. She winced as her leg fell to hang from the side of the bed and allowed her father to help her dress.

***********************

Arizona reached the floor that was home to the high dependency unit within seconds of her altercation with the chief. As she looked around for any indication of which room might be Callie’s, the presence of two large security guards standing sentry in one corner gave it away immediately. She could not believe that the chief had drafted them in, in anticipation of having to prevent her from entering. She decided to act quickly, taking a chance on the possibility these men may not know who she is. As she reached the door, a hand emerged to swiftly prevent her from turning the handle.

“Restricted access, ma’am,” said one of the guards.

“I’m aware of that, thank you,” she chanced, “but I’m a doctor here, I have clearance.”

“Dr. Robbins,” one of the men addressed her directly. “You cannot go in there.”

She looked at him carefully, mentally assessing the merits of arguing, and deciding whether she would have even the slightest chance of passing them by force. She decided that speed was probably her only advantage and suddenly, without warning, lurched forward to grab the handle. She made it halfway through the door before being pulled back by a number of strong arms. She was greeted by the poisonous stare of Mr Torres and could clearly see Callie, pale and lying lifeless before her.

The door swung closed as though the scene was playing in slow motion. Arizona’s pleading eyes met Callie’s father’s cold, angry ones. She struggled against the guards restraining her and looked again at Callie’s limp form. She tried to read the monitors for at least a little, trivial information about her condition but was too far away. As the door closed to hide Callie once more, the remaining crack revealed only a standing, seething man. Arizona felt hot tears trickle down her cheek; as she watched the door close the last few inches between her and Callie, she mouthed the word ‘please’, in a desperate attempt to illicit any underlying compassion he may have for her. The latch clicked impossibly loudly and Arizona shrugged off the guards now only lightly holding her, she moved away from them towards the break room, swiftly followed by Bailey.

“What the hell am I supposed to do, Bailey?” she asked desperately as she paced the small room. “This isn’t right. This is not fair!”

“I know,” Bailey looked embarrassed and guilty as she spoke. “I’ve tried to speak with the Chief but...”

“Everybody in this hospital knows that this isn’t what Callie would want!” she interrupted. “It’s totally ridiculous. I live with this woman, she is the love of my life, Bailey,” Arizona emphasised the words that now stuck in her throat and made her eyes burn.

“What did you just say?” Bailey had a quiet, thoughtful look about her as she asked Arizona to repeat herself.

She exhaled deeply and made deliberate eye contact before calmly stating: “I love that woman, Bail...”

“No, no, no!” she cut her off. “Before that. You said everybody in this hospital knows this isn’t what Callie would want.”

“Yeah, it isn’t,” she suppressed a sob.

“Yeah...” Bailey looked curious. She took a deep breath and pointed vaguely in Arizona’s direction. “Uuuh, you stay here, O.K? You don’t go out there so the muscle can just beat you about the head again. I’m... I’ll be back. I have an idea.”

“Bailey!” Arizona cried as she left the room.

“Just, you just wait there!”

Arizona looked incredulously at the second door within minutes to slam in her face and sat, head in hands, on the sofa behind her.

******************

Bailey approached a weary looking Chief as he was trying to placate an exceeding agitated Mr. Torres. She apologised for the intrusion and informed him she needed an urgent word before guiding him to an empty room nearby. She was clearly deeply immersed in inspiring thought, clasping her hands, prayer like, and waving them in the Chief’s vague direction.

“Miranda?” he asked exasperatedly.

“The cornerstone of medical ethics, Sir; the one thing that guides us in our decisions about patients every day, what is it?”

He looked at her curiously, clueless as to where she was going with this, but decided that knowing Bailey, to humour her was probably best.

“Uhh, I guess ‘first, do no harm’,” Bailey nodded for him to continue. “We act in the patient’s best interests, maintain their dignity and autonomy as best we can and...”

“Exactly!” she cried. “This is exactly why, legally, we have a shot at getting Arizona in there!”

“Bailey,” the Chief warned, “I have made myself very clear on this matt...”

“Wait, wait, wait! You just... just listen, for one second. When we have patients roll through those doors unable to make decisions for themselves, we defer to the next of kin, right” the Chief nodded. “And we do that because we assume that they have the patient’s best interests at heart. We do that because we have no other choice, not being privy to any other information that might indicate otherwise, right?” The chief’s expression changed, as though he was beginning to follow her train of thought.

“But when it comes to this... situation” she gave him a parental look of disapproval, “when it comes to Callie’s best interests, we have granted authority to somebody we well know, does not represent her wishes. Chief, I am aware that the Torres buck carries a lot of clout, but this is wrong. And I think there’s a legal loophole here. The fact that Callie is a member of staff here, the fact that we know her personally, means her situation is different, we can work with this, can’t we?”

The Chief looked contemplative as he ingested Bailey’s words. He pursed his lips and directed his piercing glare towards Bailey, saying nothing for some time as she looked on hopefully.

“Get me legal,” he said and left the room.

**********************

“Mr Torres,” the Chief addressed the man solemnly as he stuck his head around the door of Callie’s room. “I need a word.”

They left Callie’s side to speak in a quiet room nearby.

“Mr Torres,” Bailey followed them and closed the door behind her.

“Can you tell me any more, Chief Webber? Why isn’t she awake yet?”

“Dr. Shepherd is ready to speak with you about the scans we took; he’s waiting in the x-ray room now. But I needed to speak with you first because you should know that Dr. Robbins will be there.”

“Excuse me?”

“I’m aware that you don’t want her present, but we... I,” he looked uncomfortable under Mr Torres’s stare, “the hospital have decided that she should be privy to this information and be allowed to see Dr. Torres as she wishes.”

“The hospital has decided?!” he looked as though he was sucking on a lemon. “On what grounds, exactly, does this hospital believe it can ignore my legal rights as Calliope’s assigned next of kin?!”

“Uhh, Sir,” Bailey interjected, “we have in fact sought legal counsel and we believe that, due to your daughter’s status as a member of staff here and the information that affords us; uhh because of her close personal relationship with many of us and most importantly, because of your estrangement from her, affording you agency is not in her best interests.”

Bailey looked him square in the eye as she spoke, each word bridging the height difference, inch by inch. She chewed her bottom lip and challenged him, from the whites of her eyes to the pinprick pupils.

“Absolutely not!” he yelled. “This is ridiculous... I will not accept that...”

“With all due respect, Sir!” she raised her own voice to counter, “this is ridiculous.” She glanced at the Chief for indication as to whether she was stepping over the mark, but on getting no warning signs, delighted in continuing. “It is ridiculous that your concern right now should be for anything but Callie’s health. It is not only ridiculous to me, as a mother, but incredulous, that you would want to exclude the most important person in your daughter’s life at this moment. Were you dropped on your head as a child?!”

“Are you going to allow this woman to talk to me this way!?” he asked the chief.

“Excuse me!” Bailey rose on the tips of her toes. “Nobody ‘allows’ or ‘disallows’ this woman to say anything. This woman will say whatever the hell she wants to say whenever the hell she wants to! Now, we can sit in here and I can continue whooping your ass, Sir. Or you can go and speak to Dr. Shepherd about your daughter’s brain. And may I suggest...”

“Would it make any difference if I said ‘no you may not’,” he said angrily.

“May I suggest,” she continued sternly resting her palm against the wall beside her and leaning into it, “that you actually watch Arizona. That you see how much concern she has for your daughter, how much affection she shows her when you finally allow her into that room. And you will allow her! Just... watch her.”

Mr Torres contemplated her words for a while. He considered them both through narrowed eyes and ran his hand over the short hairs on his chin. “You haven’t heard the last of this, Webber. Now where’s Shepherd?”

*******************************

“Sir,” Bailey grabbed the Chief before he could leave the HDU. “I realise that this is probably the worst time, you know, in the history of the world, to mention more bad news.”

He looked at her as though she’d just reversed over his puppy and raised his eyebrows expectantly.

“We lost a patient, Sir.”

“What?” he shook his head incredulously.

“We lost one, I mean physically lost. A young girl, Hayley Cole, who had surgery to repair a compound fracture to her left femur about two hours before the nurses noticed she was gone.”

“Did you say Cole,” he furrowed his brow on asking?

“Yes Sir.”

The Chief looked confused for a brief moment before his skin took on a sickly, grey tone as the blood drained from his face.

“That’s the daughter of the man who threatened me with a law suit against this hospital, because Callie spoke to her... about being gay. Callie gets stabbed and pushed down a flight of stairs, and now they’ve disappeared?!”

Bailey’s eyes widened and she swallowed hard before heading toward the nearest available phone.

Consensus Audacium 2/?

Sun, 28 Jun 2009 21:15:28 GMT

Callie lay limply at the bottom of the flight. She grasped her abdomen tightly in an attempt to stem the bleeding and cursed her medical credentials for affording her the knowledge that she had probably sustained a penetrating wound to her liver. Her head was muggy and she felt blood trickling down her neck from the gash sustained on impact with the floor. She had tried in vain to stand or crawl; she was too weak and in far too much pain to move. Her feeble attempt at cries for help were drowned by the whirring activity of the hospital’s generator situated only a few meters from the stairwell. And to add insult to serious injury, she was in one of the few places in the whole hospital that had absolutely zero phone reception.

Her face was pallid and a sheen of cold sweat covered her usually glowing skin, she felt herself getting colder by the second as the sticky, crimson fluid left her body and soaked her scrubs. She thought of Arizona, her earlier words like arms reaching out to touch her, grasp at her consciousness, and attempted yet again to move from her helpless position. To no avail, she slipped back and felt hot tears burn her cheeks, her body too shocked, too weak to allow the sobs that should have accompanied them to occur.

***********************

“Chief Webber?”

A man’s gruff voice prevented the chief from opening the door to the stairwell and continuing on his way to the blessed retreat he had claimed in the basement.

“Yes, Sir?” he turned and greeted the man with a smile. The face that greeted him was sweaty and strained. The chief sensed immediately that this would not be a quick greeting.

“I need to talk to you. I... something happened and I need to tell you right now.”

He was stuttering and tripping over his words. The chief released the door handle and guided Mr Cole over to a quiet corner of the lobby.

“O.K,” he said calmly, “what seems to be the problem?”

“I wanted you to know that I’m going to be suing the hospital.” He said it so matter-of-factly that the chief almost laughed in response.

“Riiight,” he said. “May I ask why?”

“Because,” Mr Cole clenched his jaw and stood more stiffly before the chief. “One of your residents, Chief Webber, saw fit to encourage my fourteen year old daughter to pursue a... gay relationship,” he almost choked on the word. “Against my express instructions that she speak to my daughter about anything other than her surgery. And may I add that I am an executive member of the board for an extremely large oil corporation, so I have the financial capability to put my money where my mouth is.”

The chief exhaled a long measured breath and nodded his head slowly.

“The doctor in question?” he asked and raised his brows expectantly.

“Torres,” he hissed her name as though it burnt to speak it.

“Dr. Torres is a very professional, valued member of staff at this hospital, Mr Cole,” the chief watched him intently. “It surprises me that she would do anything that wasn’t in the very best interests of your daughter.”

“What is in the best interests of my daughter is my concern, don’t you think?” He was unrelenting and clearly agitated, so the chief decided to humour his adversary and assured him that he would look into the matter. Mr Cole, scowl intact, retreated from the lobby and headed back toward his daughter’s room.

“O’Malley!” the chief yelled as he saw George jogging toward the elevator. “Have you seen Torres?” he asked as George spun on his heel to face him.

“She didn’t find you?” George asked perplexed. “She was looking, Chief.”

“I’ll bet she was,” he said and raised his brows.

“I uhhh,” he was stuttering again. “I may have mentioned... more like suggested that you might be in, you know, your place,” he cast his eyes toward the stairwell. “She threatened me, Sir. I only told her in fear for my life,” he added quickly.

The chief looked at him menacingly and shook his head before heading toward the stairs, muttering under his breath about puppies. He pushed the door open and began jogging down the first flight, eager to end this shift before anything else had a chance to darken his mood. As he rounded the corner and stepped onto the next flight he froze mid-step and felt his heart drop to the depths of his stomach.

“Callie,” he said in a strangled cry as he regained the feeling in his limbs and rushed to her side. He felt for a pulse and listened for breaths, eventually feeling a faint tachycardia at the tips of his fingers. “I’m running for help, Dr. Torres. I’ll be right back.”

He sprinted up the stairs and yelled to anyone in the vicinity to come to his aid.

“What the hell is going on?! Bailey asked on following his rapidly disappearing form down the stairs.

“Torres,” he breathed heavily, “she’s hurt.”

**********************

“Get me three units of type specific and somebody get venous access, right now!” Bailey yelled as they wheeled Callie into one of the trauma rooms.

“We need x-ray’s; does anybody know if the weapon was still there? We need to know how deep this wound is.”

There was a bustle of activity for a few minutes as the team hooked Callie’s limp body up to monitors and fluids, took readings, ripped her clothes away and generally complied with Bailey’s barking orders.

“Somebody call Robbins, please!” she yelled over the buzzing noise of the trauma room. Cristina nodded quickly and made to leave the room but Bailey’s stern growl stopped her in her tracks.

“Not you, Yang! We need you in here. Grab an intern to do it!”

Cristina knocked on the trauma room window as she spotted one of her numbers outside and opened the door to grab him.

“#2,” she hissed between her teeth. “You know what’s going on in here?”

“Yes ma’am,” he answered nervously.

“O.K, do not call me ma’am. Ever,” she growled. “I need you to go get her file and call next of kin, understand? I need you to be discreet and sensitive. Don’t frighten her to death, O.K?”

“Got it,” he moved quickly, speeding toward the Chief’s office where he knew he would find Callie’s file.

*******************

“Bailey, update me please,” the chief addressed the group of doctors assembled in the x-ray room.

“She has what appears to be a penetrating wound to the right upper quadrant; hypotension and tachycardia suggesting internal bleeding; imaging indicates the liver as its origin. Extensive blood loss from external wounds, a blunt head trauma to the back of the skull and she’s been unconscious throughout, we believe due to the loss of blood and shock. But Shepherd will look into the neurology after surgery. That’s where she’s heading now that she’s stable; you’ll be working alongside Hunt, Yang and me, Sir.”

“We’ve ordered six units of type specific, Sir,” Yang continued on Bailey’s indication. “It’s taken about an hour for us to stabilise her; cardiac function looks good, there is raised serum liver enzyme and decreased haematocrit levels along with the imaging to suggest hepatic injury. The OR staff have been alerted to who they’ll be working on but other than that, we’ve kept it quite contained throughout the hospital. One of my interns has informed Dr. Robbins.”

“O.K, good” the Chief inhaled deeply and looked, for a brief moment, like a weary old man. He was about to continue when he heard a small mouse-like sound from the corner.

“Speak up, son,” he addressed the intern.

“Uumm, Sir, I just wanted to eer, I mean,” he steeled himself with a deep breath. “I’m the intern Dr. Yang is referring to and... I didn’t call Dr. Robbins.”

“What?” Cristina barked, “I expressly asked you to inform her!”

“Umm, ma’am, with all... with respect, you... I mean you asked me to inform the next of kin, which I did. Dr. Torres’s next of kin as listed in her file is her father.”

Cristina looked at the intern as though he were something she’d trodden in and Bailey’s mouth dropped open as she pinched the bridge of her nose, shaking her head.

“Great,” the Chief muttered under his breath. “What did he say?”

“He said that he was on business in Vancouver and that he was going to charter a helicopter immediately. He expected to be here within an hour and a half.”

“And you spoke with him how long ago?”

“About an hour.”

“O.K, not ideal,” Bailey addressed the Chief carefully. “But we’ll deal! We will handle him and in the meantime, you,” she pointed at the intern. “Go and call Dr. Robbins, that clear enough for you?!”

“Ummm, no,” the Chief interjected quickly. “We will not be calling Dr. Robbins.”

“Excuse me?” Bailey looked utterly confused.

“We’re bound by law,” the Chief spoke solemnly. “Mr Torres is listed as next of kin, as long as Callie remains unconscious, he alone has the legal right to decide who is granted access to see her and information about her condition.”

Bailey’s eyebrows shot upward and she pursed her lips as she avoided the chief’s eyes. “Uhh, everybody,” she glanced at the group of staff, “a minute please.”

Everybody left hurriedly as Bailey rested her back against a wall. “I hope you’re about to explain what you just said,” the room felt much larger than it was and the silence was sharp. “Because you know as well as I do that Dr. Robbins’s relationship with Callie is no different to that of you and Adele, nor me and Tucker; you are also very aware that Callie’s father has not spoken to her in over a year and that if we don’t call Arizona, she’ll turn up for work in the morning and find the woman she loves unconscious in the high dependency unit.”

“I do,” he spoke quietly. “I’m aware of all of that, Miranda. But I have an obligation to this hospital. And I’ve already been threatened with one law suit today, also related to Drs Torres and Robbins’s relationship. And,” he looked directly at Bailey, eyes betraying his torment, “and as much as I dislike it, we are obliged by the law of this land to allow next of kin, and next of kin only, access to the kind of information you want me to share with Arizona.”

Bailey clasped her hands across her mouth and looked back at him, meeting his stare directly.

“Sir,” she moved her hands and spoke quietly, a slight tremor in her voice and the glistening of her eye betraying her emotion. “I don’t think there is one person, in all my life, that I have more respect or affection for, Sir, than you.”

The chief nodded his head slowly as Bailey began to pace the floor.

“In all the years of our professional relationship and our friendship, though I may have disagreed with you, I have always respected your decisions, respected you as a person; I’ve always known that you’re doing the right thing in the long run. But now, Sir. This moment right here, is the first time that not only do I believe you are wrong, not only do I think you are making a colossally poor decision; I do not respect you. In this moment, I have lost my respect for you.”

On speaking the last words, Bailey’s voice cracked. She looked at the Chief one final time, her head shaking and her lip trembling before leaving the suffocating room.

*******************

“ABSOLUTELY NOT! Chief Webber,” Callie’s father raised his booming voice as he addressed the Chief outside his daughter’s room. Bailey looked on from the nurses’ station as Mr Torres laid down the law.

“If I so much as see that woman within twenty feet of this room, I don’t need to tell you what kind of reaction you will receive from the Torres estate, do I?”

Bailey’s blood was boiling by this point. She was tired, emotional and most importantly, seething. As she witnessed a father patently ignoring the importance of his daughter’s happiness and the man she respected more than any other person, she felt nauseated to the very pit of her stomach. She continued to look at the scene unfolding before her but began to step backward slowly. Her back eventually made contact with the door of the break room and she pushed until she was inside, faced with the phone on the wall beside her. Exhaling deeply, she picked up the receiver and dialled the four digit pager number before replacing it and waiting for the return call. Within a minute, the phone rang.

“Hey, I was paged to this number,” Arizona’s groggy voice spoke on the other end of the phone.

“Dr. Robbins, Arizona, it’s Dr. Bailey.”

“Hey Bailey, you getting slammed? You know I’m not on call, right?”

“No, I know, I know. I’m calling because, errm...”

“Hey, Bailey,” she interrupted. “Do you know if Calliope left yet, she was supposed to come here at the end of her shift? Did she get held up?”

“Arizona,” Bailey shook her head and spoke solemnly. “Callie’s still here. She’s been hurt.”

There was silence on the other end of the line for a few moments before Arizona croaked out a feeble “what?”

“She’s stable, her surgery was a success but she’s still not conscious, I think you should get down here.”

“Yeah, uhhh, yeah,” Arizona could barely form coherent thought, let alone full sentences. “I’ll be there right away.”

Consensus Audacium 1/?

Thu, 25 Jun 2009 23:21:15 GMT

“I am done,” Arizona cried emphatically as she leant her back on the door of the break room. “This shift felt like it was never going to end. I mean I love kids, you know?!” she smiled and scrunched her eyes, “but after twenty hours and four surgeries, they can get a little...”

“Annoying?” Callie interjected and chuckled at her own words.

“I was heading for ‘trying’... but yes, sometimes annoying,” she looked a little guilty.

“Arizona Robbins!” Callie exclaimed as the blonde pushed herself from the door and made her way across the room. “How could you say such a thing?! You are a bad paediatrician,” she grabbed her by the waist and pulled her close. “You are bad,” she emphasised, “very bad.”

“You think?” she replied and placed her lips to Callie’s. “Do you want to know what I think?” She grasped a handful of dark hair and pulled Callie in closer, sweeping her tongue across her bottom lip and kissing her deeply before pulling back very slightly to speak. “I think... you should come home with me, right now, and test your theory.”

Callie’s torso shook as her deep, guttural laugh reached Arizona’s ears which did nothing but spur her on.

“I’d love to, but I have three hours of my shift left. I have a fourteen year old with a compound fracture; you’re right, kids suck!”

They both laughed and Arizona pulled her close and rested her head on a strong shoulder.

“Why don’t you go and get some sleep,” Callie suggested. “Energise yourself!”

Arizona tightened her grip around Callie’s waist and smiled widely into the cotton of her lab coat.

“What exactly are you suggesting I might need energy for, Calliope?!”

Callie pulled back and cocked her head to the side, eyebrows raised. She kissed Arizona’s lips once more and pushed her away. “Go!” she said sternly. You’re exhausted and we could flirt like this all night given half the chance. I’ll come in a few hours and we can... snuggle!”

“Sounds perfect,” the blonde replied and headed toward the door. “Calliope,” she turned as she reached for the handle. “I love you.”

Callie bit her bottom lip and blushed furiously across her chest. She still couldn’t get used to hearing those words; believing those words from somebody, from her.

“I love you too,” she whispered in return and flashed her most genuine, warm smile before Arizona left the room.

******************************

“Dr. Torres!”

A booming voice stopped her in her tracks and she turned to face the owner.

“You Dr. Torres?” he repeated.

“Yeah, hey,” she extended her hand.

“You’re not performing my daughter’s surgery.”

He was blunt and to the point which took Callie aback for a moment.

“Uuumm,” she flustered for words. “OooK, umm, who is your daughter, Sir?”

“Hayley Cole,” he stated.

“Sir, I am assigned to your daughter’s case. She has a compound fracture to the left femur. It’s a straightforward procedure; I’ve performed it hundreds of times and I’m a senior resident surgeon here. Why are you opposed to me performing this particular one, may I ask?”

His nostrils flared and his lip curled menacingly as he seemed to be trying to control his erratic breathing. Callie stepped away discreetly, somewhat unnerved by his demeanour.

“You will not be so much as laying your fingertip on my daughter because it is people like you, exactly people like you,” he pointed sharply in her direction, “who put these ideas into her mind and make her... make her...”

“Sir,” Callie shook her head. “People like me?”

“I saw you,” he whispered through his teeth. “It was you, right? Making out in the lobby, as though you didn’t care who saw you?”

“Uuumm,” Callie’s eyebrows shot up and she placed the chart in her hands carefully on the desk beside her. “My private life has nothing, O.K, nothing, to do with my abilities as a surgeon, so if you have a pr...”

“I do have a problem,” he interrupted and stepped closer to her until she could feel his foul breath hitting her cheek. “I have a problem. It’s not with your surgical skill, Torres. But when you brazenly make out with some blonde in the lobby and then go in there and expose my daughter to that kind of thing, I have a problem with that.”

She didn’t quite know what to say, emotions oscillating between utter shock and seething anger. She watched his indignant stare, which could bore a hole into her skull, and contemplated her response. Her gut instinct was to yell back, to make a great deal of noise and fuss and to take it straight to the chief. But when she thought of Arizona, asleep in their bed and waiting for her to come back and slip in quietly beside her, she simply drew in a long breath and nodded her head decisively.

“Fine,” she spoke quietly and calmly. She shook her head and averted her eyes. “I won’t perform Hayley’s surgery. I’ll ask one of my colleagues to take over her case. But Mr Cole?” she looked intently at him now. “She is a fourteen year old girl who is in some considerable pain. She knows me as her doctor and she trusts me... I’m going in there to tell her that I’m transferring her case.”

“Dr. Torres...”

“I am telling her myself!” Callie raised her voice slightly and glared at the man before her.

He clenched his jaw and stared back, quite as intently as she, before nodding almost imperceptibly.

“Fine,” he spat. “I’m going to speak to your chief, just so you know. And Dr. Torres... do not speak to my daughter about anything other than medicine. Do you understand?”

Callie shook her head and exhaled sharply, maintaining eye contact as she pushed open the door to Hayley’s room.

“Hey Hayley!” she spoke softly and approached the girl’s bed. “So, good news,” she smiled brightly and took note of her vitals. “You get out of having to endure my surgical skills today. I wasn’t going to tell you but I’m feeling a little shaky,” she held out her hand and feigned a comical tremor. “See? You had a lucky escape. One of my colleagues is going to be fixing your leg O.K? He’ll do a great job, you don’t need to worry.”

“What did my father say to you, Dr.?”

“Excuse me?” Callie averted her gaze and began making notations in the chart.

“Dr. Torres, I’m fourteen and I do pretty well at school. My father left here seething and now you’re not my doctor anymore. He said something. Is it anything to do with the words ‘depravity’, ‘immoral’ or ‘disgusting’ that he was muttering before he left?”

Callie looked at the girl and then at the door, nervously. She swallowed a lump in her throat and put the chart down. “Your Dad, he saw me with someone in the hospital and he doesn’t seem to like my relationship choices.” She gauged Hayley for a reaction, unaware how much she understood of her father’s prejudices.

“So, you’re gay?”

Callie pursed her lips and smiled weakly. “I’m bisexual, I guess. But I do have a girlfriend and your Dad saw me kiss her as she left work today so...”

Hayley shook her head. “And now he thinks that if you perform my surgery, you’ll infect me with the gay germ?” She dropped her eyes and a look of sad resignation crossed her features.

“Something like that,” Callie answered quietly.

“I’m a good kid, Dr. Torres, you know? I make great grades and I behave myself. I volunteer and I made the track team this year. But, my Dad? He’s mad at me all the time and he’s mad at the world in general because I like girls.”

Callie nodded her head and sat back down on the edge of the bed. “I’m sorry it’s not different for you,” she offered.

“People like you make it a bit easier,” Hayley replied with a smile. “I have a girlfriend,” she added quickly.

Callie smiled broadly. “Yeah?” she replied.

“Well,” Hayley blushed. “Like I said, I’m fourteen and a good kid, so when I say ‘girlfriend’ I mean we make out a little and hold hands when we watch a movie!”

“You’re fourteen?” Callie asked with a grin and Hayley nodded in confirmation. “Yeah, you have a girlfriend!”

They both laughed and a moment of recognition and respect passed between the two.

“It sucks for you that you’re still a kid, Hayley. So you really have to do what your Dad tells you to. But, you know, people don’t think like him. When you get older and you go to college and meet good, sensible people. They won’t care who’s hand you hold at the movies, O.K? And if they do, you just don’t care. You just don’t allow yourself to care.”

She stepped away from the bed and took a deep breath as she smiled at the girl before her, who represented so much to be hopeful for in the world. Popping the chart back into its holder, she left the room and went in search of the chief.

***************************

“Hey, George!” Callie yelled as she skipped down the hallway. “Have you seen the Chief?”

“Uh, no, not recently,” he was distracted and seemed stressed.

“You sure? Because I have had a day. I mean a real day,” she shook her head in disbelief. “And right now Arizona is at home in our warm bed waiting for me. So...” she smiled sweetly at him and tapped his chest with the roll of papers in her hand, “this would be a great time to remember about our marriage and the particular circumstances under which that ended and, therefore, how much you owe me.” A satisfied look settled across her features as she waited expectantly for a response.

“O.K,” said George. “First, that’s gross. I do not need to hear about the... bed a a and the Ariz,” he exhaled through his stuttering. “About your bed, and about who is in it,” he managed clearly, looking at Callie’s hopeful face. “He’s in the basement,” George finally conceded.

“The basement?” Callie asked, confused.

“Yes, the basement. He’ll kill me for telling you because he just doesn’t get a second’s peace anywhere else. But, since he threw you out, he’s adopted the place as his own hideaway. I’ll bet he’s there if you can’t find him anywhere else.”

Callie raised her brows excitedly and seemed to jump on the tips of her toes as she passed George by and headed for the elevator. “Thank you!” she yelled behind her. “We’re both grateful for all the sex we’ll be having!”

George’s face dropped and he shook his head exasperatedly, yet as Callie trotted down the hall, a small grin tugged at his lips and he nodded quietly to himself.

***********************

Callie retraced the steps she had so often made toward the corner of the basement that was home to her for a long while. She left the elevator for the stairs on the ground floor, since only the service cars went as far as the basement. She was seething about Mr. Cole’s words and couldn’t wait to bend the Chief’s ear about it for a considerable amount of time, but tonight, she had decided, she would merely alert him to the fact that they had a problem; a big one. What she wanted more than anything at that moment was to head home and cash in on some time with Arizona.

She skipped down the stairs two at a time as she descended into the bowels of the hospital. The door above her opened and closed, making her stop in her tracks and strain over the hand rail to look up.

“Chief?” she yelled. “That you?”

Familiar heavy steps descended towards her and Callie leaned against the wall as she waited to gleefully inform the chief that if he did not do something really huge and really quick about the Mr. Cole incident, she would hit the hospital very hard. And Arizona would probably cry; two situations she knew he would not welcome.

She quickly took out her phone to check the time and as she slipped the slim silver case back into her pocket and looked up once more, her blood froze in its circulation and she felt the rise of bile hit the back of her throat as her stomach convulsed.

“I thought that was you,” the unwelcomingly familiar drawl hit her as he descended onto the step above hers. “Dr. Torres, I was hoping to run into you again.”

“Mr Cole,” she spoke nervously and swallowed the growing lump in her throat. “This isn’t somewhere you can be, you need to go back up to the main section of the hospital.”

“Oh!” he sniggered mockingly. “Now you seem to care about rules and regulations; about what is right and wrong or about what I should or should not be doing, huh?!”

His neck seemed to extend beyond the parameters of possibility and Callie noticed the incredible rate at which the blood was pumping through his carotid artery; this man was running on adrenalin and that frightened her much more than his venomous words.

“You didn’t seem to care so much,” he spat, “when you were putting poisonous ideas into my daughter’s head about the disgusting way in which you chose to live your life!” His voice, by the end of the sentence had increased in volume considerably and Callie hoped that it would be loud enough for somebody to hear.

Suddenly he grabbed her by the wrist and attempted to pull her up the stairs.

“Mr Cole, let go of me now!”

“We’re going right back to my daughter’s room this instant and you are going to tell her exactly how depraved she is and that she will end this ridiculous charade with this person she is now calling her ‘girlfriend’, thanks to whatever it is you said to her earlier.”

Against her better judgement, Callie roughly pulled herself free from his grasp and pushed him against the stairwell wall.

“I will do nothing of the sort,” she spoke quietly but forcefully. “I will not tell your daughter anything of the sort because I do not believe she is depraved! I believe she’s a smart, classy young woman who is very brave; she is dealing with new and frightening feelings, not to mention a father who uses words like that to describe a young girl he is supposed to love unconditionally.”

Her voice wavered at this last sentence as she recalled her own father’s reaction. She loosened her grip on him and looked directly into his eyes.

“You should be disgusted with nobody but yourself, Mr Cole.”

On speaking his name, Callie felt a burning sensation across her abdomen and fleetingly thought that he had grasped her scrub top, causing a friction burn. But as she glimpsed down she saw the flash of a metallic object being withdrawn from her throbbing flesh. As she grasped at the site of pain and looked up into the dark, strained eyes before her, his hand descended firmly across her breastbone and with all the might of his perspiring form, he pushed her backwards.

A Star to Every Wandering Bark 4/?

Wed, 24 Jun 2009 09:43:29 GMT

“So I called my friend, Emily,” she placed the bag on the counter and began removing its contents. “Because I realised that I never get take-out and I really have no idea what’s good around here. So she recommended this place. I hope you like Indian.”

“I love it,” Lisa brought some plates to the counter and leaned over the bag to inhale the aroma. She placed her palms on the countertop to push herself upward and closed her eyes as the rich spices teased her senses. She remained that way; strong arms defined by the effort, and turned her head to face Erica. Her tip toes were still connected with the floor as she leaned a little towards the blonde. Her hair slipped down her milky white arm as she moved and her pale lips were curved into a slight smile. “Thank you for picking it up,” she spoke quietly, now inches from Erica’s face. “It smells amazing. But, Erica? Why didn’t you just call me to ask where would be good?!” she laughed a little on asking.

Erica returned the chuckle. “Because I knew you’d try to make me let you cook, which wasn’t going to happen,” Lisa rolled her eyes playfully. “And... I wanted to surprise you; romance you, at least a little!” She blushed at the admission and went to turn away from the woman hovering beside her, but Lisa dropped fully to her feet and grasped the smooth skin of her upper arm. She turned her gently and looked into the glassy eyes before her. She threaded her fingers through Erica’s, loosely resting on the counter, and kissed the corner of her mouth.

“Consider me thoroughly romanced!” she said on pulling back. “I’m so ready to eat.”

They sat at the countertop on tall stools and Erica’s foot brushed against Lisa’s shin intermittently. Conversation was easy and light; nothing struck Erica more profoundly than this. She could discuss mundane details of her day with Lisa and listen to similar details from her. She was funny; Erica found herself choking on her food several times at her quick wit. She was interested in her, as well as very interesting herself. It was nice, simple; she could become very used to this.

“Harry was doing well this evening,” she suddenly remembered to update Lisa on her brother’s condition. “He seemed bright enough to quiz me endlessly.”

“About what?!” Lisa asked, a little horrified.

“You, me... You and me, you know? I think he’s already bored in there and just wants a little distraction. He must hate being so inactive.”

“He does!” she replied. “When I saw him earlier he was wondering whether he’d be well enough to finish painting the nursery before Anna arrives.”

Erica shook her head a little and furrowed her brow. “You should try to dissuade him from that! It’s really fantastic that they’re adopting. Have they always wanted to do it?”

“Glen has. Harry was a little wilder before they met. A wanderluster, he couldn’t stay in the country for more than a year. But then Glen took an Attending position at the hospital where he worked and they just fell into each other. I don’t think Harry had ever experienced a real relationship before; he didn’t know how it could feel to have someone who thinks of you first, someone who can tell that you’re not quite O.K by the tone of your voice, you know? He was swept off his feet, I think. And so was Glen. It’s lovely to watch them together, they have such a partnership going on; one of those relationships you catch glimpses of and really envy.”

Erica smiled and tore a shred from the naan bread. “That’s lovely,” she said. “So was it difficult for them to get her, Anna?”

“No, actually; it’s really a sad story. Harry spent a lot of time in India over the years. He made friends with an amazing couple from Texas who were both physical therapists, too. They gave up their lives here to move permanently and set up a clinic over there. Harry went to offer his services as much as he could when he was younger and they became really great friends. About a year ago, Ollie was killed in a road accident. Hannah, his wife, had fallen pregnant maybe a week earlier... but she has Cystic Fibrosis. She’d managed to live a remarkably healthy life to that point, largely because Ollie personally took care of her therapy every day. The pregnancy was an accident; she really wasn’t healthy enough to carry a child, especially since it meant stopping all antibiotics. But she insisted on carrying the baby. So now her health is appalling, as you can imagine. She’s dying; she wants to stay in India for her last days and when she knew Anna was going to be born, she asked if Glen and Harry would take her.”

Erica just looked at her for a few moments and swallowed a large lump in her throat. She shook her head: “That’s tragic. So Anna is how old now?”

“Two months, she’ll be just three when she arrives, I think. I’m so excited!”

“I’ll bet, is this your first niece or nephew?”

“Yeah, can you believe it? Considering there are six of us, you’d think one of them would have popped one by now. My Mom is beside herself! I think Jack, the youngest, will follow on soon. His wife is very maternal.”

“And you and kids?” Erica probed a little, raising her eyebrows.

“Love them, obviously,” Lisa replied. “I could have followed a career in academia easily, but I was drawn to teaching because of the kids. I’ve just never been in a position to consider it myself; never been in the right relationship, the right time and place. Someday, maybe. But someday becomes a whole lot less likely as the years pass by, right?”

“Right,” Erica agreed as they finished the last of the meal. She stood and began to clear the dishes before Lisa grasped her wrist firmly and pulled her away.

“Don’t think for one second you’re clearing this up, Erica,” she said sternly. “You’ve done enough for me over the past week. We’re going to sit and relax and you get to choose the DVD.”

Erica smiled and allowed herself to be pulled into the living room. “Sit,” Lisa ordered, “and decide.” She handed her a pile of rented movies and went to grab the wine.

Erica flipped through the discs and decided on Little Miss Sunshine, a title she had seen before a few years ago and thoroughly enjoyed. Lisa popped it into the player and filled their glasses with a crisp, fresh Pinot Grigio.

The movie was almost half way through when Erica’s eyes flicked to her side and noticed Lisa’s hand resting casually on the cushion; she sipped her wine slowly and Erica observed through the corner of her eye the way her throat rolled as the liquid ran down its length. Her heart was racing a little and she found it impossible to concentrate on the movie, just about remembering to laugh in all the same places that Lisa seemed to be. She wanted so desperately to take the hand that lay beside her in her own and run her fingers down the length of those long, pale digits. She continued to debate whether or not to do it for another ten minutes, admonishing herself for being able to perform the most complex of heart surgeries but being completely lost when attempting a simple, quiet gesture.

After finishing her wine, she placed the glass on the table beside her and let her now free hand rest inches from Lisa’s. The younger woman noticed this immediately and moved her own a little closer. Erica continued in this nervous advance for a few minutes before the tips of their fingers touched. Lisa moved immediately to grasp Erica’s hand, intertwining their fingers tightly. She brought their grasp to rest on her knee, causing Erica to lean in a little closer for comfort. She chuckled to herself causing Lisa to look at her inquisitively.

“What?” she questioned.

“It’s just,” Erica shook her head, “that was so simple. I tried to build up to taking your hand for about ten minutes!”

Lisa cocked her head to the side and laughed as she watched the woman beside her blush furiously. She held her gaze for a moment and felt the heat rise across her own features. She went to speak a couple of times but couldn’t find the words; her eyes were drawn to the way that Erica was worrying her lip between her teeth and the wisps of hair that framed her face. Her heart raced as she realised the blonde was leaning closer, the haze descending upon her almost preventing reciprocation. Suddenly finding clarity in the rose tint of the pout nearing her own, she tilted her head a little and quickly closed the rest of the gap between them.

The air surrounding their connected forms fairly crackled as their lips touched. Erica’s chest rose in a heavy inhalation and as she pulled away very slightly, her eyes met Lisa’s deep stare, seeking permission to continue their embrace. Erica smiled faintly and extended her hand to touch the red locks of hair that grazed Lisa’s shoulder. She toyed with the silky threads as lips sought her cheek and rested lightly, close to her ear. She could feel the gentlest of exploratory kisses against the white hairs of her jaw line and found herself swallowing deeply and screwing her eyes shut as a tentative finger traced the line of her clavicle.

She swept her own cheek against the one pressed to it and pouted her lips into a kiss as she felt them meet the corner of Lisa’s. The two women reacted simultaneously as hands rushed to grasp the other and their bodies thrust forward into a heated embrace. Limbs tangled in limbs and flesh branded flesh wherever it touched the other’s hot skin. In the passion of the moment Erica had been pushed semi horizontal on the sofa and without permission sought or granted, Lisa was pressed to her body, their chests heaving with the carnal heat of the moment.

Erica ran her hand down the toned muscles of Lisa’s arm. She had been drawn to her defined physique since the moment they had met and found the exploration of each rise and fall deeply intoxicating. The contrast of her smooth, alabaster skin with the flex of a tricep, as she took her own weight through her arms, spoke of both her inner strength and inherent vulnerability, traits that Erica had felt privileged to glimpse thus far.

Their kisses slowed in intensity as Lisa found a comfortable position to lie atop Erica. Their mouths, hot from passionate exploration, began to find a rhythm of captivating crescendo and diminuendo echoed by the roaming of hands and to the beating time of their heaving chests.

Lisa pushed her cascading hair back and met Erica’s eyes. She chuckled lightly and placed a kiss on her nose as they watched one and other.

“I think I should get off you,” she spoke quietly.

“You do?” Erica enquired as she grazed her nails against the shining skin of Lisa’s shoulders.

“Mhm,” she kissed her lips lightly. “Because even though I really don’t want to stop, I think this should burn a little slower; just a little.”

Erica felt her heart flutter and smiled broadly as Lisa watched her nervously for a reaction.

“I wish you hadn’t said that,” she placed a hand in the small well at the base of Lisa’s curved back. “Because that’s exactly what I want, that’s exactly what I need. And knowing that you feel the same... well,” she leaned forward to capture her lips again and spoke through their kiss, “it just makes me want to keep doing this,” she drew a lip, she wasn’t even sure which, between her teeth and allowed it to slowly, maddeningly, slide free. “And never stop,” she added.

Lisa’s body went limp as she pressed her forehead to Erica’s and allowed herself to fully lie against her body. She groaned loudly and mustered the will to push herself up and away from Erica. She sat herself at the opposite end of the sofa as Erica righted herself and smoothed her clothing.

“I should go home,” the blonde whispered. She shifted herself a little closer to Lisa and took her hand. “I have to go away this weekend,” she pursed her lips in contemplation. “It’s a work thing, I can’t get out of it,” she rolled her eyes and threaded her fingers between Lisa’s, “but when I get back...”

“When you get back I’m taking you out on a date,” Lisa interjected.

“You are?” Erica asked smiling.

“Yep, I think it’s about time I romanced you a little. My favourite place in the whole world is about a forty-five minute drive from here. I don’t tell many people about it because if they knew, they’d go all the time and I don’t want to share it.”

“You sure you want to share it with me?”

Lisa looked at her with real scrutiny and suppressed a deep inhalation that was set to rack her chest.

“I really do,” she replied and leaned in once more to kiss the lips that called to her like a beacon.

Something New

Fri, 19 Jun 2009 09:57:12 GMT

I lie back and can feel the pressure of my pulsating circulation at the point where my head connects with the cold tile. The sound of rushing blood deafens me and the burning pool of tears clouds my sight.

Dead; the word reverberates around my mind as though the concept is utterly alien to me. I can’t conceive of a world without him; if I stand from this spot and face his mother, his brothers, I acknowledge that he’s gone. Expired.

I can vaguely see her sit beside me on the floor, legs crossed as though she were one of her own patients. I blink to clear the glaze across my vision and hot tears burn a path down my cheeks, pooling in the folds of my ears. She wipes one clear as it rolls onto my lobe and continues to stroke the soft skin; soothing sobs I hadn’t even realised were racking my chest.

“His Mom’s asking for you.” It was a simple and quiet statement that I’d been expecting; dreading.

“I don’t think I can do it, I don’t think I... Ari,” my eyes close in defeat as I exhale her name. “I used to be the girl who could do this; I used to have the strength. I don’t anymore.”

I hear her exhale and I turn my head in her direction before opening my eyes very slightly, searching for the blue that’s become my home. She tugs on my arm until I match her exertion and sit up.

“I’m here,” she tells me as I read concern in her eyes. “I’ll help you.”

I sigh deeply as her words permeate me and her hands grasp and soothe the skin of my arms. When she lets go and stands to help me up, I accept her extended hand unquestioningly. I do it because when I look at her, I know that she’s the only one who can help me do this; she’s the only one I could rely on to help me say goodbye to the one person in the world I’ve ever told that I love them. And when she guides me to the door but releases my fingers as she opens it because she knows now is not the time to explain this to George’s family, I know she’ll be next.

*********************

As the cushion depresses beside me I wake from my light slumber and instinctively know it’s her. I recall the nauseating events of the evening; but I mostly remember how she ensured I could see her through the corner of my eye at all times as I comforted the O’Malley’s.

“You’ve been here for three days, Callie.”

She’s right; I haven’t been able to leave since I discovered John Doe was George. I rub my heavy lids, which almost remain closed with fatigue, before resting a hand on her thigh and attempting a slight smile.

“The chief,” she continues, “he told me that he’s not here anymore. They’ve taken him, Cal. His family took him home.”

I want her to take me home; her home. I ask and she nods with a kind and concerned smile before beginning to gather my things. We leave the hospital burdened and heavy because I know that these events have taken their toll on her too. I know that the slant of her shoulders and intermittent glistening in her eyes means her brother’s memory is a little less submerged than usual.

In the car she starts the engine and slips on the glasses I’ve learnt she needs most when really exhausted. Yet she doesn’t forget me in her fatigue and leans over to kiss my cheek. I lean in to her lips and feel a layer of weight evaporate.

“Ready?” she asks before going anywhere.

I glimpse the hospital behind us in the wing mirror and nod, my bottom lip quivering.

******************************

“Do you feel better at all?” she asks me as I leave the shower room. She’s wearing her pj’s and sitting on the edge of the bed waiting for me. I feel better when I see her and tell her as much. She pats the floor at her feet with her sole, indicating that I should sit. I do so and feel her take my wet hair between the folds of a towel, patting it dry.

As she runs the comb through my locks and scrapes the teeth against my scalp, it’s so calming and cathartic that my head lolls on my neck. I hear a slight chuckle from her direction and she makes me stand to get into bed. There’s a towel already laid across my pillow to catch the rest of the moisture from my hair and as I lie down, she’s twisting my dark curls into a knot so that she can curl into my back and wrap her arms tightly around my torso all night.

“Ari,” I whisper as the weight of sleep crawls up each limb and settles across my chest. “I couldn’t have done this without you. Thank you.”

“You could,” she brushes her nose against my neck where the smallest wisps of hair are now dry. “You would have been great alone, Cal. But you don’t have to be now.”

My lips flicker and a shuddering breath relaxes my body into hers and towards sleep.

Push me into a box 1/1

Tue, 09 Jun 2009 12:54:46 GMT

“What’s wrong with your face?” Bailey asked in her characteristically blunt tone.

Arizona narrowed her eyes at the woman in annoyance. “Excuse me?!” she replied, tired and angry with hours of a long shift to go.

“Your face,” Bailey repeated. “You look all pouty and sad, it’s disturbing me. Can’t you be all smiley and overly enthusiastic?” she held her hand up, palm toward Arizona, on finishing. “Now don’t get me wrong, I do not like the perk; the perk can be annoying and tiresome but it’s you, so please re-introduce the perk so I can get on with my day.”

“Sorry,” she stood from her seat and began gathering her things from the table. “I... it’s just not the best of days... never mind.”

“Are you O.K?” Bailey probed further, somewhat reluctantly.

“If I told you why my face looks like this,” she raised her eyebrows at Bailey and grabbed her stethoscope, “that would qualify as that ‘telling you my business thing’, would it not?”

“It would,” Bailey pouted her lips and nodded her head. “But I make the odd exception.”

Arizona looked at her, unsure whether to speak until Bailey waved her hand impatiently, indicating that she should.

“It’s Calliope,” she stated simply and waited for the tirade she expected from Bailey about workplace relationships and Seattle Grace immorality. But it didn’t come.

“Mhm,” was all she had to say, “I thought it might be.” She took a deep breath and eyed Arizona almost suspiciously. “I’ll tell you exactly what I told Torres; I do not discuss sex, not any kind of sex. So long as that’s clear, you can go on.”

“O.K,” Arizona replied, a slight grin crossing her features. She wiped it clear very quickly on seeing Bailey’s expression. “O.K,” she repeated, seriously this time. “She’s... infuriating; she seems invested most of the time, you know? It seems like she really wants this. Then, every now and again, she does something that makes me doubt it, makes me doubt that she’s in this at all.”

Bailey watched her as she spoke, her expression unreadable. “How much do you know about her past relationships?” Bailey asked.

“Bits,” said Arizona. “She doesn’t really talk about George; I pretty much only know they were married and that he cheated with Izzie. She’s told me some details about Erica, not a great deal though, why?”

“O.K,” there are many sick and injured children requiring my attention right now so I will give you the abridged version: George? Well, she married a child,” she shook her head and rolled her eyes. “She gave him her heart and he broke it, that simple. She was broken until Erica came into her life and then we saw the old Callie back for a while. But we all know how that ended. Hahn left and Callie was crushed again.” Bailey contemplated Arizona for a while as though debating whether or not to continue, whether or not to divulge information about someone she considered a good friend, despite herself.

“She’s pushing you,” Bailey eventually said.

“Pushing?” Arizona enquired further, unclear as to what she meant.

“She’s been cheated on, deserted and then to top it off, her father has disowned her. People in her life leave, Arizona. You’re a smart woman; I’ll leave you to work it out yourself.”

Bailey began to leave the room but Arizona called after her. “Wait! Bailey, wait,” she furrowed her brow and paused as Bailey turned back. “She’s testing me? To see if I’ll bolt too.” It wasn’t really a question as some clarity dawned upon her.

Bailey raised her shoulders and smiled tightly before leaving. Arizona pulled her stethoscope around her neck and held both ends tightly as she contemplated her words. She exhaled and left the room to continue her shift.

**********************

Callie recognised the light, cheery knock at the front door and was surprised that Arizona would come by so late, especially since she had every right to be really mad right now. On opening the door, sure enough, Arizona stood in the hallway smiling brightly.

“Hey,” she said and walked past Callie into the apartment, a small document box under her arm. “I have some things to show you.”

“Hey,” Callie said, surprised by her announcement. “Are you O.K?”

“I’m fine,” she said nodding and sat down on the sofa, placing the box on the coffee table. “Come sit here,” she tapped at her side and Callie complied.

“O.K; you think I’m going to run at any given moment, right?”

“What?!” Callie looked confused and raised her eyebrows at her girlfriend.

“People have left. In your life, people have left you. And you think that’s what I’m going to do, right? That’s why you push me... you’re testing me.”

“I...” Callie faltered; her shoulders slumped as realisation dawned upon her. “Not intentionally,” she spoke quietly. “Not consciously.”

“I know,” Arizona kissed her cheek. “I get it, it’s O.K. But, Cal? I’m really not going anywhere. Really.”

Callie exhaled deeply, her eyes now swimming. She looked at the box and indicated towards it. “What’s that?”

“I brought evidence,” Arizona looked at her excitedly and brought the box onto her knee. “In case you were hard to convince.”

“Evidence,” Callie stated as she wiped an errant tear trickling down her cheek. “What do you mean?”

She lifted the lid of the box and began to remove the contents one by one.

“This,” she handed a piece of paper to Callie, “is my mortgage agreement. As you can see, I’m bound by it for two years at least.”

Callie smiled immediately and went to speak but Arizona cut her off.

“This is my contract at Seattle Grace... signed by the chief guaranteeing... three years,” she checked again, “yep, three years,” and handed it too, to Callie.

“This one,” she pulled a red cardboard sleeve from the box and waved it in Callie’s direction. “Plane tickets for my Mom, I booked for her to come up in a few months because I want her to meet you.”

This made Callie’s brows rise on her forehead. “Really?” she asked, a little surprised but beaming nonetheless.

“Really,” Arizona replied, delving back into the box. “When I took you to dinner on our first date, I kept this. She handed Callie a branded napkin from the restaurant they’d been to. “And that first time we...” they both smiled at the other. “I bought the pizza with my credit card... this is the receipt.”

“I think I’m beginning to get it,” Callie spoke, looking at everything Arizona had handed her, a visible collection of how invested she was in this relationship; in her. “Thank you.”

“There’s one last thing,” Arizona said, pulling her pink ipod from the box. “Go to most played and listen to the top song.”

Callie did as instructed and popped one of the earphones in. When she heard the first few bars of that guitar riff, she looked at Arizona’s expectant expression and pulled her in immediately, pressing her lips firmly against the blonde’s. “Thank you,” she whispered before pushing her backwards on the couch and deepening the kiss.

If you think my Mam is beautiful, you should see my other one 3/?

Sun, 07 Jun 2009 14:56:27 GMT

She walked through the door and dropped her bag immediately, rushing to the kitchen where Callie was balancing precariously on a stool.

“Sweetie, what are you doing?!” she placed her hands around the hips before her and guided her down. “You could fall! Have you somehow forgotten how pregnant you are?!”

“Ha!” she retorted. “Fat chance... literally! This kid is almost a week late and won’t stop moving. My back is killing me and I think I’m nesting; I decided to baby proof the apartment,” she said with a confused look on her own face, realising the lunacy of her actions.

“Baby proofing a cupboard six foot in the air, months before we’ll even have a crawler?! Callie, you need to sit down and relax; you’re driving yourself crazy.”

She rubbed her eyes in exhaustion and frustration. “I know,” she admitted. “But my back hurts when I sit and I’m exhausted but I can’t sleep; I just want to have this baby right now, on the kitchen floor if it would just come!”

“O.K,” Arizona looked concerned. “Please don’t tempt fate. And besides, I know you’re going to want all the drugs they can offer so be glad of modern medicine.”

She looked at her tired girlfriend, huge and glowing but with a look of exasperation painted across her features. “I have something to show you,” she suddenly spoke and smiled excitedly. Grabbing Callie’s hand she tugged her into the bedroom and stood in front of the large mirror.

“O.K, last time you said that and dragged me in here it involved some very tiny, very lacy lingerie. And as much as I loved it, that’s just cruel right now because I am too huge for any kind of lingerie-associated activity.”

“No lingerie, I promise,” said Arizona, to which Callie pouted a little despite her previous admonishment. “Better than that,” Arizona continued and pulled Callie a little closer before turning side-on in front of the mirror. She whipped her t-shirt up and pushed the waist of her scrubs down.

“Check it out!” she said with a huge grin. “We’re matching!”

Callie’s eyes widened at the sight of a small but very clear protuberance of Arizona’s stomach.

“When did that happen?!” she asked reverently and placed her hand across the swell.

“I noticed it in the locker room today,” Arizona answered and covered the hand with her own.

The blonde turned Callie side on and slipped behind her so that her small bump slotted into the concave of her lower back, the only way they now fitted together in a hug. She extended her arms as far as they would go around Callie and rested them on her bump.

“We’re going to relax tonight,” she spoke through dotted kisses on Callie’s shoulder. “O.K? I’m going to cook and we can watch crappy T.V and talk baby names... we really need to decide what to call this one,” she tapped Callie’s stomach, “we can’t keep calling it number one after it’s born!”

“O.K,” Callie conceded. She turned a little so that Arizona was at her side and leaned in for a kiss. Their lips touched lightly and, smiling at the quiet moment, the blonde drew Callie’s lower lip between her own, creating a little suction. Callie exhaled deeply, feeling the tension leave her body. She drew Arizona closer to her side and ran a hand across her neckline before searching for the bare skin of her stomach and smoothing her hand across it as the kiss continued, tongues touching gently.

They remained as such for a few minutes, expertly navigating the protruding obstacle. Arizona was the first to pull away as Callie’s hand began to roam higher and graze the swell of her breast.

“Cal!” she giggled, “what are you doing?” She placed a kiss on her cheek and covered the hand now openly groping her chest.

“Just checking if these grew, too!” Callie teased before giving a final squeeze and pulling away. “But if I keep doing that I know you’re going to want to continue and I really can’t... I want to but I really can’t, so I’ll stop now!”

Arizona looked momentarily disappointed, but knowing that Callie simply could not engage in anything of the sort given her condition, she quickly replaced the appearance with a grin and pulled her into the living room.

***************************

“No; no state names, Callie,” she furrowed her brow at her girlfriend. “If you start suggesting Rhode Island or Wisconsin, I’m going to tell them you don’t want drugs during labour!”

“What?!” Callie cried in mock offence. “Cruel and unusual punishment, don’t you think? You wouldn’t do that to your poor, huge girlfriend who’s bearing your first-born, surely?”

“Try me,” Arizona said on leaning in to kiss her cheek. “Come on, we have a few options. Try to be serious, Calliope.”

“O.K, O.K,” she conceded. “We both love Niamh, Beth or Ciara for a girl, right? And that takes care of your Celtic family.”

“Yep, I love those names,” Arizona smiled and snuggled a little closer to Callie. “And if we have a boy, we take care of your family by giving your Dad’s as a second name?” Arizona questioned hesitantly and watched her for a reaction.

“I always thought I’d do that, but now I’m not so sure. He’s barely spoken to me since I told him about the baby, Ar,” she sighed deeply.

“But he has spoken to you,” Arizona replied, “Which is an improvement. And this is his grandchild, Callie. I have a feeling he’ll arrive at the hospital about twenty seconds after junior here does; I think he wants a way back into your life, this is the opportunity.”

Callie contemplated this for a while. She looked in the direction of the flashing television screen but was not watching the programming. She nodded her head slowly and Arizona’s heart tightened a little at seeing the pain that her father’s estrangement drew across Callie’s face. She wanted to wipe it away with a kiss but knew that it went far deeper than a superficial wound.

“We’ll see,” Callie eventually said. “What about boys first names anyway. Do we have any options we agreed on?”

Arizona cast her eyes upwards in thought and pursed her lips. “No, I don’t think we do. O.K, we need to agree on a couple of options at least.” She pulled a large book of baby names onto her lap and flipped open a page. She perused for a while and stopped at one that caught her eye.

“I like this... what do you think of Finn? It’s more appropriate for fair hair, so maybe this one?” she tapped her little bump proudly.

“Finn,” Callie rolled the name off her tongue. “I actually like that, I really like it. But this one is not going to be fair, Arizona, that’s for sure... how do you feel about Alfie?”

Arizona smiled immediately and nodded her head. “See,” she took Callie’s hand, “when you’re serious for two seconds, we can really get somewhere! Alfie and... Beth,” she tested the combination out loud and flashed a smile at Callie.

“Ciara and Finn,” Callie added, equally beaming.

If you think my Mam is beautiful, you should see my other one 2/?

Thu, 04 Jun 2009 13:11:14 GMT

“So, how are we feeling today?!” the upbeat obstetrician beamed at the two women; Arizona remembered instantly why she had persuaded Callie to choose her as their baby doctor.

“We’re good,” she replied, “great, actually. Calliope’s getting a little tired now but I still feel great so we’re well balanced at the moment.”

The doctor smiled and nodded as Callie came into the room in an enormous gown and waddled her way toward the examination table. She did not look amused at the attire and took Arizona’s hand to hop onto the table with a somewhat petulant pout.

“Why do I have to wear this?!” she whined. “I look like a tent that could comfortably host a family of four!”

“Like our family?” Arizona quickly diffused her cranky mood with the comment and kissed the smile that crept across her lips. “Lean back,” she instructed as she positioned the pillow behind her and guided her to lie against it.

“O.K, Callie,” the doctor came to her side and reached for the bottle of jelly. “You know the drill; cold jelly, I have a look around with the probe and then we’ll see baby! As you know, it’s going to be really well formed at this stage so be prepared to something pretty life-like!”

Callie smiled and looked excitedly at Arizona who stepped around to the other side of the bed and took her hand. The screen jumped to life and they watched expectantly as the doctor searched her abdomen for the correct positioning. The picture began to appear more focused and after a few moments, a clear form began to emerge and baby’s arm and head appeared. Arizona watched Callie’s reverent stare and swallowed a large lump in the throat.

“Oh my God,” her voice cracked a little as she pressed her head against Callie’s. “Cal,” she wiped a tear from her girlfriend’s cheek. “It’s incredible, so big!”

“I know,” she sighed incredulously and looked away for a moment to kiss Arizona’s cheek. “I love you.”

“I love you,” the blonde replied and held her gaze for a few seconds before the both turned back to the image and the smiling obstetrician.

“O.K,” she addressed them as she moved the probe gently. “Everything looks good, healthy; very healthy. But, as I’m sure you can see, baby Torres-Robbins number one is breech,” she pointed to the position of the head on the screen. “If you want to avoid a caesarean, Callie, this,” she tapped the screen, “needs to be down here.”

“O.K,” Callie gripped Arizona’s hand a little tighter and felt a thumb stroke her in return. “A non-conformist from the get-go - should have known! What can we do to turn baby?”

The doctor smiled and put the equipment down. “There are a lot of different ways that people have tried and tested! But I’ve been doing this for many years now and most of my mom’s have had greatest success by doing two things.”

“Which are?” Arizona questioned.

“You need to tilt yourself upside down for about fifteen minutes a day. Most people lay the ironing board against a couch at about 45° and lie on that.”

“O.K!” Callie laughed. “That sounds like it could be... interesting, given my current size.”

“I know, it sounds a little ridiculous,” she admitted, “but if Arizona helps you it should be fine and it really does seem to work.”

“We’ll try it, for sure,” Arizona piped in. “What’s the second thing?”

“Well, the tilting is the mechanical side of things, the other is sensory. Baby can hear a lot of things from in there so you should try playing music. Get a playlist going on your ipod, Arizona, and put the earphones near Callie’s pubic bone. The sounds are thought to attract and help baby turn!”

“O.K!” they both agreed. “That actually sounds like fun,” said Arizona.

“Great, I’ll see you about a week before due date to check whether we’ve had any movement,” she wiped the gel from Callie’s skin. “Other than that, we’re done. Are you happy? Any questions?”

They looked at each other and shook their heads.

“Nope,” Arizona smiled. “My turn now?!” she asked excitedly.

“Yes, your turn. You can just switch with Callie if that’s O.K.”

“Wait,” said Callie quickly. “She doesn’t have to wear the tent?! How is that fair?”

The doctor smiled and helped Callie sit up. “She’s not big enough for the ‘tent’... yet,” she replied. “But if it helps, I promise I’ll make her wear it when she’s closer to term.”

“Actually that does help!” she teased as she slid from the table and made her way around slowly to Arizona’s side.

“Ready?” Callie asked her as she helped to slide the waist of her trousers down.

“I think so,” said Arizona. “I’m still trying to process seeing number one again, let alone this one,” she placed her hand across her stomach. “It’s... emotional!” Her eyes moistened and she looked at Callie, blowing her cheeks out to calm her breathing.

“I know,” Callie shuffled as close to her side as the bump would allow. “I know it’s a lot but it’ll be fine. We’ll just see a little bean this time though; we don’t have to think about how real this one is for a little while yet, O.K?”

Arizona nodded and moved her hand aside to allow the doctor access. Callie took the hand and kissed her fingers. They waited for the screen to show something again and Callie felt her circulation being gradually cut off as Arizona squeezed her fingers. She said nothing, however, and simply played with the hair at the nape of Arizona’s neck, something she knew relaxed her.

“Oh, there it is,” Arizona gasped as the small foetus came into focus. Her breaths came out in shaky, short bursts and Callie continued her soothing caresses. She smiled at the sight of her second child and of Arizona, beautiful and emotional beside her. Suddenly she began to chuckle and brought the smaller hand in hers to rest on her stomach.

“Ari,” she said. “Number one wants to to say hi to number two!”

Arizona smiled in delight as she felt the kicks of their first baby and watched their second on the screen.

“So, you are at ten weeks,” the doctor gently interrupted the moment. “But I’m guessing you already know that!”

“To the minute, if I remember correctly,” Arizona laughed and made a face as she recalled the insemination.

“O.K, well things look good; correct size, strong heartbeat and the amniotic fluid looks normal; I think you can go away pretty happy today!”

As they cleaned Arizona up and gathered their stuff, Callie left to change back into her own clothes. When she was ready they thanked the doctor and left the office. Arizona took Callie’s hand, threading their fingers together tightly.

“That was pretty incredible,” she said quietly. “We’re having two kids, Cal!”

“You’re just realising this now?!” Callie raised her eyebrows and chuckled a little. “It is pretty amazing though, right?”

Arizona pulled on Callie’s hand and leaned in to kiss her lips as they went. “Right,” she said, as they half walked, half waddled their way down the hallway to the exit.

Therapeutic Window 1/1

Wed, 03 Jun 2009 00:22:49 GMT

“Hey you!” she beamed as she entered the break room and flopped down beside Arizona, leaning over to kiss her cheek. When she received a weak smile in response she exhaled deeply and turned to face the woman beside her.

“Are you mad at me, Ar? Did I do something?” she furrowed her brow in question and felt a burning uneasiness in her chest. “We haven’t spent any time together in days and when I have seen you,” she shook her head, “you’ve been quiet and... subdued. I mean, you don’t always have to be all perky and... ‘yay’,” she clenched her fists in the air in an attempt at imitating Arizona’s upbeat demeanour, “but you always are. So the fact that you’re not... it’s making me worry.”

Arizona was still and silent; she remained so until Callie cocked her head and looked at her expectantly. She pushed her hair aside and looked over at Callie; a pained expression crossed her features and she worried the skin at the edges of her nails.

“I’m sorry I’ve been quiet;” she eventually spoke, “distant. I should have spoken to you but I just didn’t know what to say. Don’t know what to say.”

“You can tell me,” Callie reached for the smaller hand that lay across Arizona’s lap. “You can talk to me, Ar. Please talk to me.”

Arizona took the hand in both of hers and fixed her gaze on the tangle of digits as she spoke. She swallowed a large lump in her throat before beginning. “I...” she almost faltered in the first instance. “You’re so beautiful, Cal,” the sentence was released in an almost reverent whisper and Callie smiled slightly in response. “So beautiful,” she continued, “and you’re smart and caring and just a fantastic doctor. When we make love it’s just...” she rolled her eyes in her own head, flicked her gaze toward Callie and blushed furiously, “well, you know! You’re incredibly funny...”

“Why do I feel like there’s a ‘but’ coming here,” Callie interrupted. She narrowed her eyes and tried to retain a hold on her emotions. “This feels like there’s a big ‘but’ on the way that I’m really not going to like.”

“No!” Arizona assured her, “no, it’s not that. There’s no ‘but’; there’s an ‘and’,” she seemed to be searching for the correct words for a few moments as her eyes darted across the middle distance.

“You’re beautiful, smart, great at the... sex thing, funny... and;” she took a deep breath, “and I’m falling in love with you, Calliope.” She shook her head and pulled the corner of her lip between her teeth. Callie’s mouth dropped open a little as she was rendered uncharacteristically speechless.

“I was watching you the other morning; before I left for work I just watched you sleep and then I watched you get into the shower with your eyes still closed,” she chuckled to herself, “and then you came to eat breakfast with me and kiss me goodbye even though you didn’t need to be up for another two hours.”

She turned herself more completely towards Callie and waited for the brunette to make eye contact. “When I stepped out of the door that day I had to catch my breath because it just hit me; I just realised like that,” she clicked her fingers. “I’m falling so hard for you. It’s scaring me to death, so... I’ve been avoiding you,” she uttered the last part matter-of-factly and with a curt nod. “And it’s ridiculous, I know. It’s not how a woman of my age should behave in a mature relationship. But I know you’re not there yet,” she squeezed Callie’s hand, “and that’s totally O.K... I just didn’t want to be all ‘I love you’!” she assumed her usual perky facial expression, “and force you to create a Callie shaped hole in my apartment door.” She shrugged her shoulders and looked expectantly at her girlfriend.

Callie merely smiled incredulously and shook her head. She looked at Arizona intensely, saying nothing as the blonde searched her features for any indication of her reaction. Suddenly and without warning, she leaned in and pressed her lips softly to Arizona’s. She brought a hand to the apex of her jaw and threaded her fingers through the hair wisping at her neck. The kiss deepened as Arizona exhaled into the embrace of the woman she loved. Callie drew a lip between her own and slowly released the warm pout as she brought her forehead to rest against Arizona’s.

“I am there,” she whispered, “I do love you.” Arizona seemed to exhale a strangled sob as her arms wrapped around Callie’s neck and squeezed tightly. “I’m always the one,” Callie continued, “always the one that speaks too soon or says too much and ruin it,” she pulled Arizona from her and lifted her chin to look into her eyes. “Since the day that we fought and you told me about your brother,” she smiled and kissed her again, “I’ve known since that day; I’m so in love with you.”

A Star to Every Wandering Bark 3/?

Sun, 31 May 2009 13:13:37 GMT

Erica sat alone in the cafeteria and read a journal as she picked at her virtuous salad, wishing idly that she were back in the restaurant eating spicy potatoes and sitting just feet from Lisa. Her mind wandered to the shapely curve of her upper arms and the flat expanse of her stomach in that white tank. Her lips had evidently curled into a telling smile as she was joined by one of her colleagues.

“What’s put that look on your face, Chief?!”

Emily Cordon had become a friend easily and quickly when Erica had first come to head the staff at the hospital. She was an attending in general surgery, brilliant in her field, the consummate professional and a genuinely nice person. She had invited Erica to dinner with her family within her first week of work. It was an easy friendship that had surprised Erica but delighted her nonetheless; more so because at work Dr Cordon behaved towards her as nothing but her respected superior and a talented and valued colleague.

Erica eyed her dismissively and shrugged her shoulders in pretence of nonchalance. Her features betrayed her however, as she was unable to suppress the growth of her smile.

“Erica!” Emily admonished her somewhat. “You never look like that, well, not at work... come on! What is it?”

She sighed and could feel the heat rising to her cheeks. She stabbed at a slice of cucumber but made no attempt at lifting it to her mouth. She kept her eyes focused on the greenery and cleared her throat.

“I... had a date.” She was beet red by this point.

Emily smiled widely and nodded her head enthusiastically. “And it went well?” she hazarded a guess and waited eagerly for Erica’s reply.

“It did,” was all the Chief was willing to offer in reply and Emily was aware that this was not the time or place to probe her further. She simply nodded curtly and smiled before adding: “It’s about time somebody snapped you up. He’s a lucky guy.”

Erica’s head snapped up on hearing her words and her mouth opened as if to speak but the words wouldn’t leave her lips. Emily noticed and watched her for a moment, trying to decipher whether she was going to speak, whether she would deem it appropriate for her to say anything further.

“Actually,” she stuttered the word out hesitantly. “It’s...”

“Not a guy,” Emily interjected. “It’s not a guy, is it?” she said with a slight smile.

Erica sighed almost in relief and shook her head. “Lisa,” she stated simply. “Her name is Lisa.”

“Well,” Emily nodded curtly, “she’s a lucky woman then!” She waited for a moment before chancing another comment, wary at all times that this was the chief and that they were in fact in the middle of the cafeteria. “I did think; my sister always did that gender free pronoun thing that you do. Before she came out, she always did that... so I did think.”

Erica smiled and raised her brows in a ‘there you go’ motion. “Glad you told me,” Emily stood from her chair. “I have a surgery in ten,” she turned to leave but spun back on her heel. “If things turn out, with Lisa, you’ll bring her to dinner next time?”

Erica laughed a little and bade her leave with a wave of her hand. “We’ll see,” she called after her.

******************************

Erica felt doubly content after her conversation with Emily. She had been on probably the best date she’d ever had and come out easily and uneventfully to a colleague all in 24 hours. She thought the day was unlikely to get any better but when she returned to her office, her phone was flashing to indicate a voicemail. She flipped it open and listened hopefully. She was not disappointed.

“Hey,

It’s just me... Lisa. Mild panic this morning as I couldn’t find your number. You’re lucky I didn’t show up at the hospital! Obviously, I found it. Thanks again for last night. It was... really nice. I was wondering if you’re free tomorrow night. I’m really exhausted, this has been some week! But I thought maybe I could cook and we could watch a movie? Something quiet, you know. O.K, well if you feel like it then let me know.”

Erica flipped the phone shut and closed her eyes, smiling. She sat at her desk and quickly checked her diary for work or personal engagements; she was free. Her heart beat a little faster, she noticed with a roll of her own eyes, as she picked the phone up again to compose a short text, aware that she was scrubbing in in ten minutes.

Lisa, it read, I’m glad you called. I’m free tomorrow night; I’d love to come over. Just let me know a time and what colour wine to bring. Looking forward to it, gotta go... surgery. Erica x

She pressed ‘send’ and dropped the phone in her desk drawer before grabbing her scrub cap and heading toward the OR. As she was about to push open the door to the scrub room her pager began to sound in the pocket of her blood red scrubs. She grabbed it and noted a 911 to the ER before quickly informing the scrub nurse she would have to postpone the impending procedure.

As she strode confidently into the trauma room she was greeted by a young man in his mid thirties with a particularly nasty puncture wound to his chest, foreign object still protruding at an alarming angle. The resident on call informed her of the particulars, including a suspected right ventricular tear, before she indicated that he be immediately prepared for emergency surgery.

Erica was occupied by Mr. Henderson’s injuries for three hours. He had been in a fairly mild road accident but had some DIY equipment in the passenger seat of the car which had found its way into his person. She had successfully removed it, repaired a tear to his lung and ascertained that his heart was in fact not extensively damaged by the end of the three hours. Mr Henderson was wheeled to recovery by the nurses and Erica proceeded to scrub out.

On reaching the nurses’ station a few minutes later she quizzed the clerk as to the whereabouts of any family she needed to talk to. She was directed to the quiet room and made a few quick notations before heading in that direction. On opening the door she was greeted by a flash of red hair and almost bowled over as a pair of arms wrapped tightly around her neck. She was startled for only a moment before recognising the soft skin touching her own and reciprocating the embrace, taking almost the entire weight of the woman she now held.

“Oh my God, Erica,” the voice was shaky and quiet. “Is he O.K? Is he?!”

Lisa pulled back and allowed Erica to guide her to a nearby seat. “He’s O.K,” she assured quickly and looked around the fairly crowded room.

“Dr. Hahn,” one of the men addressed her, “we’re Lisa’s brothers,” he indicated about the room. “This is our mother and this is Glen, Harry’s husband.”

The dark-haired man who was evidently the only one in the room not blood related to the strikingly similar family stepped forward and shook her hand. “Dr, Hahn?” his voice trembled.

“He’s doing well,” she addressed him and the rest of the family. “He was in a car accident which was pretty minor in itself but there was something in the car, a wooden pole of some sort; that punctured his chest on impact.”

“Anna’s cot,” Glen uttered, a pained expression upon his face. “We just found out that we got the O.K for an adoption. We’re expecting a baby girl, Anna, in about two weeks. Harry was building her a cot.”

Erica smiled warmly and motioned for them all to sit; she did the same on the edge of the coffee table at the head of the room.

“Harry had a tear in his lung,” she spoke clearly and with a calm inflection that transformed the mood in the room. “I’ve repaired that now. We initially thought he had damaged his heart too, but I’ve had the chance to check extensively and I believe it’s just superficial bruising to the heart muscle, nothing more,” she waited for a few moments so they could take everything in. “So, the biggest risk for him now is infection because the pole was lodged in there for a while, he’s on the correct meds to combat that though. Glen,” she looked at him earnestly, “I think you’ll have to do most of the early morning feeds for the first couple of weeks, but he should be home with you by the time Anna arrives,” she smiled, “you’ll be allowed in to see him in a few minutes”

Glen allowed his head to drop for a few moments before exhaling heavily and running a hand across his pained features. He stood quickly and grasped Erica’s hand between his two. “Thank you so much, Dr. Hahn. I’m sorry this is how you’ve had to meet us all. Next time it will be a happier occasion, for sure! Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” she said, smiling genuinely before heading for the door. She nodded to Lisa who stood to follow her out and waited at the door, assuring the family she would personally update them.

They stepped from the room and closed the door behind them. Lisa looked up at the blonde and her face crumbled; she pressed her fingers into her eyes and allowed her shoulders to heave in sobs.

“Hey!” Erica placed a hand on her shoulder, pulling her aside to a quieter area of the hall. “He really is O.K, Lisa.”

“I know,” she sniffled. She looked up at Erica and wiped at her tears. “I know,” she repeated, “I just... I was terrified. Thank you, so much.” She leaned a shoulder against the wall beside her and slid her hand into Erica’s. “I’m sorry you had to meet my whole family just like that. Did you know it was Harry you were operating on?”

“No,” she shook her head. “Somebody told me the name Henderson but I didn’t make the connection. And it’s fine,” she added. “I like them, by the way,” she nodded her head towards the quiet room, “your family.”

She looked at her through glassy eyes and smiled weakly but genuinely; their hands remained locked together and Erica drew her in lightly so that her forehead rested just below her shoulder. Her red locks fell haphazardly from a loose band and Erica pressed her lips to her parting; they remained simply as such for some moments. It was the opening of the quiet room door that broke the stillness of the moment; a nurse had come to take the family to Harry.

“Go,” Erica squeezed the hand she held. “I’ll come in a bit to check on him.”

The red head nodded and exhaled deeply as she pulled away to join her family. She mouthed another ‘thank you’ and turned toward the disappearing throng.

**********************************

She left them for around twenty minutes before entering the room to check on Harry’s condition. She had replaced her white coat and pulled off her scrub cap to allow her hair to freely flow across her shoulders. The family were gathered around the bed as she entered and she stood quietly for a few moments, surveying the chart for post-op stats. Clearing her throat, she stepped beside Glen and indicated that she needed access for an examination.

“Hi Harry,” she stepped closer to the bed. “I’m Dr. Hahn; I performed your surgery today. How’re you feeling?” She placed her stethoscope to his chest and listened intently, expertly blocking out all surrounding noise.

“I’m O.K,” his voice seemed reasonably strong. “I feel a little groggy still, but I’ve been told I was in great hands,” he flashed a quick glance Lisa’s way on speaking. “Thank you Dr. Hahn,” he said sincerely before adding quietly, “thank you, Erica.”

She smiled and withdrew the scope from beneath his gown. “Your lungs sound good. I’m keeping you on high dose antibiotics and taking x-rays later today, but I’m pretty happy with everything right now,” she made a few quick notations as she spoke. “I think you should rest but everyone can stay for a little longer if you like,” she nodded once at him and then turned to the waiting faces gazing at her. “Really just a few more minutes though guys, O.K? My prescription is rest right now.”

She began to leave the room, placing his chart back in its slot and raising her hand politely to the weary looking group who appeared greatly relieved and nodded seriously at her advice. Lisa caught her brother’s eye, who was silently urging her to follow Erica as she left. She quickly pecked him on the cheek and jogged down the corridor to catch up with the surgeon.

“Hey,” she caught her as they approached Erica’s office. “I didn’t say earlier that I got your message.”

She turned on hearing the voice behind her, smiled and cocked her head toward the office door, indicating that they should enter. “It’s really O.K,” she said as she closed the door behind them. “I know we won’t be able to get together tomorrow, it’s O.K. I can wait.”

Lisa smiled and leaned her back against the door. “I can’t,” she held Erica’s gaze. “I don’t want to wait to see you again.” The blonde swallowed shyly and removed her stethoscope as she manoeuvred around her desk. “And you said that what Harry will need a lot of rest, right? So there’ll be no sense in me being here all the time or at home worrying on my own.”

Erica came back to the same side of the desk as Lisa and sat on the edge. She nodded thoughtfully, very keen to spend more time with this woman who, she noticed, looked radiant despite the stress of her day.

“O.K,” she agreed, “on one condition.”

Lisa arched a brow in question and waited for Erica to lay it out before her.

“You let me cook,” she said with a serious tone to her voice. “You’ve had a stressful week and I wouldn’t relax knowing you had to do all the work.”

“But I invited you over!” she protested immediately. “I can’t let you cook for me in my own home. Not yet, at least,” she added with a teasing smile.

“It’s not negotiable, Lisa,” she addressed her sternly and Lisa enjoyed the way her name sounded on Erica’s lips. Her mind fleetingly wandered to a moment where she might utter it in ecstasy; it was enough to convince her to agree.

“O.K,” she conceded, “I won’t cook. But can we compromise on take-out?”

Erica smiled and nodded in agreement. “Yes, we can,” she said. “Shall I pick something up on my way over?”

“Sounds good,” was Lisa’s reply. She suddenly felt shy in the blonde’s presence again. The time had come to leave and allow Erica to continue with her work, and she wasn’t sure how to end their conversation without appearing like a bashful teenager, again.

“O.K,” she finally said. “You need to work and I need to drag my family from Harry’s room. Soo... does eight sound good?”

“Eight’s fine,” Erica agreed and stood to open the door for her. “But if things change and you’re too tired or you need to be with family, just call, O.K?”

Lisa watched her as she placed a hand on the doorknob and looked at her for an affirmative answer before opening it.

“O.K,” she agreed. “But it won’t.” She leaned forward boldly and pressed her lips to Erica’s. “You’ve taken me to dinner, you’re bringing the take-out and today you saved my brother’s life. I’m becoming quite indebted to you. I’m going to make it up.” She pursed her lips together to suppress a smile and cast her eyes toward the floor. Her hand, suddenly finding confidence, covered Erica’s and pushed the handle down. She left the office maintaining eye contact with the blonde before turning to almost skip down the hallway.

One-shot of epic fluff

Thu, 21 May 2009 22:54:54 GMT

The morning sun framed her sleeping form as Arizona watched from the doorway, nursing her steaming tea. Her hair was splayed across the pillow and had curled at her temples from the heat of the night; the steady rise and fall of hear breaths disturbed a strand resting on her bottom lip with each exhalation. The blonde allowed her eyes to follow the curve of her body beneath the thin sheet and, despite the months she’d had to become used to it, found her breath hitched and her eyes moistened at the swell of material at her stomach.

She crossed the bedroom and kneeled beside the bedside table, placing her tea on it and continuing to watch the slumbering form before her. She brought her chin to rest on the mattress and from there was able to dot kisses across the now very large expanse of Callie’s midriff. Her hands came to rest on the bump and she felt the fluttering movement that they had become accustomed to over the past few months.

“Baby’s awake, Cal,” she whispered as her lips were still pressed to the sheet. “Wants you to get up and go!”

She groaned in response and shuffled backwards with little grace to create a space into which she pulled Arizona. The blonde had to lie at quite an angle to accommodate the protruding stomach before her but managed well having had several weeks of practice now.

“Did you sleep well?” she asked and pressed her lips to Callie’s nose.

“Mhm,” she hooked a leg across Arizona’s and could just about reach to rest her hand on her petite backside. “Do you really have to be so tiny right now?” she groaned as her hand groped the butt she was now grasping firmly. “I’m the size of North America, why am I with a woman who can match eight months of my pregnancy eating and still be unfamiliar with the concept of hips?!”

She chuckled and wrapped her arms tightly around Callie. “You’re beautiful!” she answered genuinely. “You’ve always taken my breath away and that has never been truer than right now. Pregnancy suits you. I don’t think I’ll cope anywhere near as well.”

“You’re doing O.K so far,” Callie smiled mischievously, “but I’m not going to lie, it’s not all as peachy as it is at ten weeks. Soon there’ll be the morning sickness, and then you’ll start living up to that name of yours because if I’m on a continental scale right now, you’re going to reach at least state size!”

They laughed and Arizona buried her face in Callie’s neck. “Don’t scare me!” she admonished. “I already have to compete with Miss ‘healthy glow’ here,” she caressed the bump between their bodies, “I’ll be happy if I do half as well as you.”

“You’ll be great, and besides, you’ll have number one here to keep your mind occupied for the majority of your time. Don’t worry.”

They remained silent for a few minutes. Since Arizona had fallen pregnant they had become accustomed to lying this way. Callie’s large bump pressed to Arizona’s still washboard flat stomach, all four of them able to feel when junior number one was shuffling about in there.

“I wonder when you’ll start showing,” Callie thought aloud. “Do you think it’ll just pop up overnight like mine did?”

Arizona smiled at the memory. “I don’t know,” she answered quietly. “I just can’t believe we’ll be seeing them both today, at the same time! It’s crazy that this all actually worked out, isn’t it?!”

“Crazy,” Callie agreed, “but really perfect.”

They kissed and Arizona’s chest heaved with emotion. “We need to get up. Appointment’s in two hours.”

Callie groaned. “But I’m so comfy!”

“Come on,” the blonde jumped up and placed a hand to her stomach. “It’s the first official Torres-Robbins family outing!” She skipped from the room to take a shower before being drawn back by Callie’s calls.

“Sorry!” she trotted back to the bed and extended her hand, “forgot.” Callie grabbed her outstretched arm and levered herself up from the bed, shuffling to the edge before heaving herself into standing.

“I’ll forgive you,” she stretched to kiss Arizona’s cheek, “but only because it’ll be your turn before long!”

Burns Best Slow 10/?

Wed, 13 May 2009 15:50:31 GMT

The kissing was fantastic. Arizona had been floating on the high of her climax for about fifteen minutes and they had simply made out tenderly during that time. Arizona had managed to relieve Callie of her pants and was just beginning to toy with the edge of her panties. As she ran a finger across black lace, Callie sighed heavily and drew her lip between teeth. Arizona took the opportunity to break the kiss and nibbled her way down to Callie’s breasts. She reached beneath the brunette to remove her bra and Callie arched her back helpfully to ease access. Arizona sat back on her heels to pull it from her chest and simply looked for a few moments at the bare form before her. She leaned over and brushed Callie’s hair aside, pressing their lips together. She maintained light contact of their lips as she whispered genuinely. “Gorgeous.”

Leaning back to glance intensely into brown eyes once more, she quickly moved down Callie’s body, running her hands across hardening nipples as her lips dotted kisses around a soft navel. Callie’s pulse was racing and her body precipitating a sheen of sweat across her caramel skin; her hips writhed as Arizona moved and happened to brush her centre with her stomach.

The blonde kneeled before her and ran her hands slowly down Callie’s torso a few times, each caress moving closer and closer to her heat before her fingers were eventually stroking the material of her underwear. She was breathing heavily now and released a strangled ‘mhm!’ as Arizona hooked her fingers around the brief material and pulled them clear of her legs. She returned and pushed Callie’s thighs apart gently, leaning in to blow cool air across her heat. She delighted in the frenzied response of ‘ohmygod!’ that floated down from the head of the bed. She could see that Callie was extremely turned on as the folds of skin moistened and swelled before her eyes; her lips were drawn in as if by instinct. Arizona was no stranger to loving a woman and was intent on blowing Callie’s world wide open.

She pressed a light kiss against the petals of skin before her and was greeted by an almost violent bucking of the hips that her hands were grasping firmly. Her arm snaked around one of Callie’s thighs to hold her down and her fingers gently exposed the tiny bundle of nerves as she descended upon her once more. Her tongue ran gently either side of the nub and a groan of utter desire and pleasure was emitted from somewhere deep within Callie’s throat. Her head became clouded as desire completely encompassed her; she barely registered the origin of her escalating pleasure as Arizona’s fingers pushing inside, but rather vaguely recognised somewhere in her mind the signs that she was about to cascade over the edge. Her hands gripped the sheets in preparation, her head rolling to the side as she felt the steady rhythm of a heated tongue and skilled digits coax her to ecstasy. Her body stiffened and a loud, prolonged cry escaped her lips as Arizona increased the pressure one final time. She jerked uncoordinatedly and felt waves of almost too intense a pleasure as the blonde continued to lap at her core which now felt completely ablaze.

Arizona retraced the path her lips had taken and returned to lay beside Callie who was completely oblivious to anything, her eyes closed in sated bliss as she fought to regain breath. Arizona reached for the sheet crumpled at her side and pulled it over their bodies. After a few moments she felt an uncoordinated limb grope for her and she settled easily into the embrace of the woman lightly chuckling beside her.

“You O.K?” she asked gently as she wrapped an arm around Callie’s torso and hooked her leg to draw her as close as possible.

“Yeah,” she whispered softly, another short laugh following her words. “That was just insane... I can’t quite believe it!”

Arizona smiled in satisfaction and kissed the parting of raven hair tucked beneath her chin.

“I’ll do it again if you like,” she teased.

Callie pulled her tighter and groaned her response. “As great a way that would be to go, I think I might actually pass out and die if we went again just now!”

Arizona’s torso vibrated with her laughter as she agreed wholeheartedly with Callie. They remained entangled in each other until a satisfied, deep sleep descended upon them both.

*****************************

The alarm woke Callie and she extended a hand in the general direction of the noise. She groped at a few buttons and the beeping was silenced. The back of her hand came to rest on her forehead as she groggily sighed out a long breath. Her eyes opened very slightly and, on taking in the surroundings of this unfamiliar room, she smiled and turned to look over at Arizona. Her eyes were still closed and her face almost completely buried in the pillow.

“Was that the alarm?” she asked almost incoherently through the mugginess of sleep and the buffer of pillow material.

“Mhm,” Callie replied softly. “It’s 7.30, are you in at 9 too?”

“Mhm,” was all Arizona could manage, the entirety of the rest of her early morning energy was being utilised in shuffling ungracefully towards Callie. She reached the brunette soon enough and snuggled her head into the crook of her neck, wrapping limbs in limbs and tangling digits in long curls.

“Can we have ten more minutes?” she groaned and squeezed Callie a little as though she felt that might persuade her.

A smile broke across the brunette’s face on feeling the warmth of a soft body pressed against her own and she kissed the top of Arizona’s head. “We can,” she said simply and felt the chest around which her arms were draped heave in a contented sigh. “I’d stay here all day if it wouldn’t get us our asses kicked!”

Arizona was a little more awake by now. She giggled at Callie’s words and kissed the skin of her shoulder. “Last night was really amazing, Cal,” she offered simply. “All of it, every second.”

“I know,” she replied. “I can’t quite believe we actually got here.”

Arizona shifted and tilted her head up a little. They smiled like teenagers at each other and began slow, lazy morning kisses.

“We have to get up now, Cal,” Arizona reluctantly spoke through their kiss after several minutes, sending vibrations through Callie’s lips. “I’ll make us some breakfast, you go shower.”

Callie simply ignored the blonde and continued to draw her lips between her own and to slide their tongues together. Arizona sighed in her arms and reciprocated the escalation in passion for a few moments before groaning into the kiss and forcing herself to leave Callie’s embrace. Arizona pushed herself up by her arms and hovered over the tan woman beneath her who was pouting like a child. She smiled and kissed her nose before climbing over her and heading to the kitchen. She grabbed a t-shirt from the chair by the door and slipped it over her head, looking back to purposely catch Callie watching her. She smirked and left the brunette to shower.

******************************

“I could seriously sleep for another eight hours, easy,” Callie spoke as she entered the kitchen, towelling her hair dry. “Wow!” she exclaimed. “You whipped this up in that time?!”

Arizona had laid the table out with fresh juice, fruit salad, eggs and French toast. It was simple but very beautiful.

“It’s eggs and fruit, Cal!” Arizona replied. “And a little toast. I eat this kind of thing most mornings, it’s no bother.”

“You eat like this all the time?!” she sat and began to pick at the spread. “I usually settle for dry cereal... never remember to buy milk. I guess I’ll have to plan ahead if we stay at mine next time.”

Arizona watched her begin to devour the fruit and smiled genuinely. She couldn’t tear her eyes from the woman. “What?” Callie eyed her suspiciously when she noticed her gaze.

Arizona put down the tea towel in her hand and closed the small distance between the two women. She took the piece of toast from her and popped it between her teeth as she sat side-long on Callie’s knee, wrapping an arm around her neck.

“There’ll be a next time?” she asked a little shyly.

Callie took the toast back and bit off a piece for herself. She smiled through crumbs and kissed Arizona’s buttery lips. “Definitely,” she stated simply.

A Star to Every Wandering Bark 2/?

Mon, 11 May 2009 21:16:02 GMT

The weather was perfect; clear skies and warm evening sunshine accompanied Erica on the short walk to Lisa’s home. She had worn simple, well fitted jeans with a white shirt that was cut perfectly. Her hair was flowing in waves at her shoulders; a conscious decision as the previous evening it had been tied back and a little dishevelled. She inhaled the warm air as the flip-flop of her gladiator sandals and the neighbourhood birdlife accompanied her thoughts. She was very nervous about this evening; the few dates that she’d been on since leaving Seattle had been fine but nothing special. Those, however, she had not been invested in. And despite having met Lisa just the previous evening, she felt very acutely that this was different. There was something about this woman; it was nothing overt or quantifiable at the moment, but it had made Erica’s thoughts consistently drift in her direction throughout the past twenty-four hours.

As she approached the house she spotted her date sitting on the porch steps, engrossed in a book. She watched her rapturously turn a page and felt a little guilty for being about to interrupt her. Her auburn hair was cascading over her features, golden flecks catching the sunlight. She really was a beautiful woman, Erica thought. She was wearing a blue calf-length peasant style skirt and a simple white tank top that accentuated her toned arms. Her legs were crossed at the ankles and her toes wriggled with what Erica could only guess was anticipation or excitement at the story that was captivating her.

As she began to walk up the path leading to the house Lisa noticed her presence and put the book down, smiling in welcome.

“Good read?” Erica enquired, smiling as she reached the step. “You looked completely captivated.”

Lisa picked it up and showed her the cover: ‘To Kill a Mockingbird’. “I’ve read it about a hundred times,” she smiled a little bashfully, “but it makes an appearance at least once a year anyway. I still get excited or nervous when I read certain parts, even though I know what’s coming! And sometimes I just wish Atticus Finch was my dad, you know?!”

Erica smiled at her admission and chuckled as she replied. “Can’t say I’ve ever had that particular urge, but I do love the book; I cried, as I recall,” she bit her bottom lip and blushed a little.

“Me too,” Lisa assured her. “You look very lovely, by the way” she added, looking up at Erica and shading her eyes from the sun. She stood from the step and grabbed her purse and pashmina from a nearby chair. “I like the curls,” she indicated to them with her eyes and wrapped a strand of her own hair around her finger. “Your hair looks good loose.”

Erica swallowed and smiled shyly. “Thank you,” she accepted the compliment awkwardly as usual, “you look beautiful.” It was simple and true and it made Lisa stop beside her, cock her head to the side and have to suppress a broad grin spreading across her features. She held Erica’s gaze for a few moments before exhaling a light chuckle and beginning to walk away from the house.

“So where are you taking me, Erica Hahn?” she enquired playfully. “I can’t think of a Tapas place close enough to walk to and I’ve lived here for two years.”

They reached the pavement and fell into step side-by-side. “It’s really tiny and not well known, which is why I like it! But it’s really great food, authentic Spanish cook; a friend took me when I first moved here and the food is just...” she closed her eyes and let out an appreciative sound before turning back to Lisa, “well, you’ll see!”

They walked for about fifteen minutes before reaching a small commercial area with family businesses dotted around a pretty square. Erica directed Lisa towards the small path that led to the restaurant, the ground was lined with gravel that crunched satisfyingly underfoot and fairy lights dotted the bamboo frames on the walls. The path narrowed so that they had to walk in single file, Lisa happened to fall in front and, unsure of the correct direction, turned to Erica. “This way?” she enquired and absentmindedly reached back toward the blonde who instinctively took her hand and nodded in assent at the direction.

Erica’s chest rose with the sharp inhalation elicited by their contact. She gently pulled herself closer by Lisa’s hand and walked directly behind her, placing a hand at the base of her back to direct her around the final corner and into the small restaurant. They parted reluctantly as a young waitress showed them to a quiet corner where two mismatched, antique-looking chairs flanked a simply decorated table.

“I really like this place,” Lisa commented as she sat and looked around. “It feels so homely. And if the food tastes as great as it smells...” she trailed off and gave Erica an excited glance.

“So did you have a good day?”The blonde enquired as she picked up the menus and handed one across the table. “Did someone update you on Mark’s condition?” she added thoughtfully.

“Yeah, his mother called the school,” she exhaled deeply and her shoulders took on some of the heaviness Erica had seen the previous evening. “He seems to be doing really quite well, right?” she asked hopefully.

“He is,” Erica assured her, “it’s early but things look good at the moment,” she smiled. “Really,” she added sincerely on noticing the worry descend over Lisa’s features.

“Thank you,” she smiled sadly and shook herself slightly as she raised the menu to study it. Erica felt her skin react in a wave of attraction toward the vulnerability this strong, accomplished woman was willing to display.

“Everything looks amazing,” Lisa exclaimed, the mood lightening considerably. “How many dishes should we get?”

*****************************

They chatted with ease about everything and nothing in particular until both women felt they must have sampled every dish on the menu. Lisa leaned back in her chair and, on placing her hands on her stomach, exhaled a hearty laugh followed by a groan.

“I am so stuffed,” she exclaimed. “You were so right, the food here is spectacular. I’ll be brining people, that’s for sure! My brother Harry would love it.”

“Is he your only sibling?” Erica asked, genuinely curious.

“No!” Lisa smiled and rolled her eyes. “I’m one of six,” she added with a chuckle. “The only girl, too!”

Erica’s eyes widened in response. “Wow,” she exclaimed, “I can’t even imagine that... It must be nice,” she looked somewhat pensive. “I’m an only child.”

“It can be nice and it can also be the biggest pain in the ass! But ye, mainly really great. I can’t imagine being the only one,” she took a sip of her wine. “Wasn’t childhood a little lonely?”

Erica shrugged her shoulders and took some of her own wine. “I didn’t know any different back then, it was what it was. But now I guess I see what I missed; I suppose I became so used to my own company that it explains a lot now... why I’m so awkward with people,” she shrugged her shoulders again, “I guess.”

Lisa furrowed her brow and contemplated Erica for a moment. “I don’t find you awkward at all,” she shook her head a little incredulously. “Do you really think that?” she didn’t give Erica a chance to reply. “I mean, you saw that I was upset, last night, and you just sat with me. And tonight? We’ve just chatted, just talked about anything and you seem relaxed. You seem comfortable.”

“I am,” Erica assured her. “I feel totally comfortable but that’s surprising. It’s not the response I would normally have to... well, anyone! It’s different... but it’s nice.” she smiled warmly at Lisa who held her gaze briefly before interrupting the moment that was brining a deep blush to her chest and cheeks.

“So, dessert!” Lisa diffused the tension she felt building between them by reaching for the menu.

“Dessert?!” Erica looked almost horrified. “Are you kidding? You just said you were stuffed!”

“O.K, Erica,” she rolled the name off her tongue with such natural ease. “I don’t care how talented a doctor you are, I will not let you persuade me there is no such thing as a pudding stomach!”

****************************

“So, your brothers,” Erica asked as they walked through the darkening streets on their way home. “Do you all get along? Are you close?”

Lisa nodded her head a little unconvincingly. “We do,” she said, “but it took us a long time to get here.” She smiled at Erica as she noted the curiosity in her eyes.

“I’m one of six, right?” Erica nodded. “And of those, three of us are gay, one bisexual and two straights brining up the rear!”

She laughed and raised her eyebrows in response. “So the coming out process must have been a lot easier for you guys then?!”

“Ha!” she pointed in Erica’s general vicinity. “You would think so, right? But... not so much. I was the first... but not everyone followed suit and not everyone was totally honest with themselves or any of the rest of us for a long time.”

Erica nodded but said nothing on noticing the weary look that had clouded Lisa’s gaze a little.

“And then there was my father,” she paused mid step and creased her forehead, cocking her head a little as she looked over at Erica. “You can just stop me at any point, you know! I’ll happily go back to discussing Atticus Finch or the intricacies of my pudding stomach!”

Erica delighted in her light humour for the umpteenth time that evening and shook her head. She hesitated for one moment before glancing at Lisa’s hand and nervously bit her lip. “No,” she said, “I want to hear.”

They resumed their steady gait and on hearing Lisa return to her previous train, Erica slipped her hand gently into the soft palm swinging lightly beside her. Lisa faltered for one brief moment, evidenced by the momentary pause in her speech, before threading her fingers between those now clutching her hand and continuing.

“Ye, so my Dad,” she shook her head. “He was Irish, Catholic and really, really strict. When he found out about me and Tom, the other sibling that was out at the time, he just pretended like it didn’t exist. He made as though we’d never said it and it just wasn’t to be spoken of.”

She tightened her grip on Erica’s hand and moved closer against a cool breeze that hand begun to rustle the leaves.

“I think his response was why we never communicated well enough. And then he caught Harry with a guy and went really mad, like off his head mad. It was bad enough as it was but when my mother told him that she supported all that we are and everything that we do, he just left.”

Erica looked over, surprised and spoke softly. “I’m sorry.”

“So was I,” she said a little dejectedly. “It took us so long to recover from that. It was sad and frustrating because this thing that bound us together and made us uniquely able to understand one and other was actually the thing that tore us apart for a long while. It was so unnecessary, looking back at it now; it was just so... wasteful.”

“But you’re all close now?” she squeezed the hand in hers.

“Very,” Lisa smiled fondly. “My mother gave up so much for us so we rally around her to make sure her life is really full and that she sees us more than she probably wants to!”

They had reached the steps to Lisa’s porch once again and the younger woman turned to face Erica, their hands remained entwined and Lisa settled her gaze on that as she spoke. “Home,” she said and flicked her eyes to meet Erica’s before averting them shyly once more. “I had such a good time with you tonight, thank you for agreeing to go out with me.”

Erica smiled at this woman’s shy demeanour. She was funny and confident yet at the end of the night, at the end of a date she, Erica Hahn, was the one tugging on a hand to draw them closer.

“I’d have asked you myself a few seconds later,” she smiled as Lisa looked up at her appreciatively. This time she did not look away and although the shyness had not left her countenance, she also looked somewhat determined. She swallowed audibly and exhaled a breath of nervous energy before leaning in and pressing her lips to Erica’s. They remained still for a few moments, synapses firing wildly at the simple contact. Lisa was the first to move as she drew back very slightly before placing another light kiss on Erica’s upper lip. The surgeon responded by opening her mouth very slightly and capturing Lisa’s pout in her own. After a few seconds they pulled apart simultaneously, their chests rising in contented sighs.

“I need to get home,” Erica looked apologetic. “I have a six hour surgery scheduled in the morning.”

Lisa nodded, her eyes a little glazed from the kiss, and smiled as Erica stepped back. Their hands remained locked and their gaze fixed on the other until Erica could no longer touch her fingertips to those outstretched before her. She allowed her hand to fall to her side and flashed one final bright smile before turning on her heel and heading down the path.

A Star to Every Wandering Bark 1/?

Wed, 06 May 2009 07:09:22 GMT

She placed her bag on the bonnet of her car to search the depths of her pockets for keys. As she fished out the chain and turned to unlock the door, she noticed a figure sitting on the nearby bench, shoulders hunched and head in hands. Erica was struck by her defeated posture and looked just long enough for the woman to raise her head and catch her eye. She offered a weak smile causing Erica to behave uncharacteristically toward a stranger.

“Are you O.K?” she asked tentatively.

The woman ran a hand across her weary features and nodded her head.

“Stressful day, you know?” she offered the reply quietly.

“Yeah, I know!”Erica nodded once and went to open the car door.

“I brought a kid in here today,” the woman added almost too quickly. “I don’t like hospitals.”

Erica faltered for just a second before stepping toward the bench and sitting beside her; she was drawn by the woman’s calm inflection and warm smile; if a little pained at this point in time.

“Your child?” she enquired. The woman laughed softly and shook her head.

“No,” she exhaled and briefly bit her bottom lip, worry lines appearing fleetingly at the corners of her eyes. “I’m the principal at West High. One of our football players was injured on the field during a big game today; I came with him in the ambulance.”

“Mark Lawrence?” Erica had seen the case on the board.

The woman beside her raised her eyebrows a little in surprise. “Did you work on his case? I didn’t notice you around today.”

Erica smiled slightly, unsure whether the woman was trying to imply she would have noticed her. “No,” she shook her head. “Not directly. I’m the chief of surgery here so it’s my job to know what’s going on.”

The woman’s eyes widened almost imperceptibly and her mouth formed a little ‘o’ shape for a moment. “Impressive!” she smiled.

Erica skimmed over the compliment shyly. “He seems to be doing well,” the surgeon offered. “Good chance of a full recovery, it seems.”

“Yeah,” her companion leaned back on the bench and pinched the bridge of her nose. “So they tell me. I cannot tell you how much relief I feel!” She leaned back forward to rest her elbows on her knees, clasped hands almost prayer like. She turned her head towards Erica and exhaled a small, tired chuckle. “They really have an impact, you know?” her eyes focused on nothing in particular in the middle distance. “And this one, this is a really good kid. I’ve felt sick all day,” she paused for a few moments. “I love my job. Love it. But some days, this one for example! I wish I worked in an office or someplace that doesn’t require such an emotional investment.”

She furrowed her brow suddenly and rolled her eyes in her head. “I’m sorry!” she chuckled a little. “I’m telling you all my life’s woes and you don’t even know me!”

“It’s O.K,” Erica reassured her and found, to her own great surprise, that it really was. She, Dr. Erica Hahn, was actually enjoying sitting with a perfect stranger; listening to her voice quiet feelings was comfortable and the simplicity drew Erica in easily. “It’s a warm evening; it’s actually nice to sit here for a few minutes before hitting the traffic. I never appreciate the weather here and I should, after Seattle it’s amazing!”

The woman nodded her quiet thanks and they maintained easy eye contact for a few brief moments. “I’m Lisa,” the woman offered her hand as she ran the other through her long, auburn hair. “Lisa Henderson.”

Erica took her hand. “It’s nice to meet you, Principal Henderson. I’m Erica Hahn.”

“Nice to meet you too, Chief,” the woman teased before adding sincerely, “really nice.”

“So are you waiting for a cab?” Erica asked after a few moments.

“No,” Lisa exhaled a short chuckle. “In the rush to get Mark here I left everything at school. I have no money, no phone; not even my house keys. I’m waiting until my brother finishes work in about an hour; he’s going to drive me to school to pick everything up before home. Luckily I remember his cell number by heart.”

“You’re going to sit here for an hour?!” Erica asked, surprised. “I mean it’s not Seattle but there’s still a chill in the air; you don’t even have a jacket.” She somewhat surprised herself with her concern.

“I could go and sit inside, you know!” she smiled at Erica’s reaction. “I just needed the air, I’ll be fine.”

Erica hesitated for one second before turning herself a little towards the woman beside her. “Can I give you a ride?” she raised her eyebrows questioningly.

“No, no, no!” Lisa insisted immediately. “You and your staff have done enough for me today. I’m sure your job description does not include ferrying patient’s non-relatives around after a hard shift. I’m fine to wait for Harry.”

Erica smiled at her; she enjoyed her simple demeanour and slight self-deprecating tone, it put her at ease. “Really,” she said. “I live very close to West High and I’m guessing your place must be a least somewhere in its vicinity too?” she questioned almost hopefully and watched as Lisa screwed her brow in thought.

“Ye...” she was hesitant. “I live in Greenway Park, ten minute drive from the school.”

“It’s right by my neighbourhood,” Erica assured her. “It would be no trouble whatsoever.”

Lisa considered for another moment. “Well,” she shrugged her shoulders, “it would be good to get home at a reasonable hour. Though I doubt very much I’ll sleep... if you really think it’ll be no trouble a ride would be great.”

“None at all,” Erica stood and made toward the car. “Hop in.”

The surgeon watched as Lisa jogged around to the passenger side of the car and couldn’t help but notice the endearing way her hair had curled at her temples. As she moved, her quads flexed in the light grey sweats she wore and Erica caught herself before the woman noticed her openly admiring her shapely form. They both got in to the car and buckled up as Erica started the engine; the silence was made easy as Lisa immediately assumed a comfortable position by propping a knee on the dash and resting her head back, eyes closed. Erica found herself enjoying the familiarity of her actions, though she knew that in many others she would find such a trait irritating, to say the least.

It was a little unnerving for Erica to find this woman so immediately attractive. She had become accustomed, throughout her forty one years of assumed heterosexuality, of willing herself to fall for several well meaning guys who’d persuaded her to date them. This sensation of wanting desperately to just look over and watch the woman beside her, who was doing nothing of particular interest, was new and would be exhilarating if it weren’t so frightening.

After a few minutes Lisa placed a hand on her own knee and shifted a little to turn and face Erica. “Do you enjoy your job?”

Erica smiled a little and furrowed her brow, wondering where the question was leading. “I love it,” she answered quickly. “Why?”

“I just... I mean there are times like today when my job is traumatic and I have to do some not so great things but ordinarily it’s such a positive environment, you know? Educating kids and seeing them grow is such a positive thing to be doing. I guess I just wonder how doctors cope with always sharing in people’s lives at the time of their greatest hardships.”

Erica thought for a moment before answering; she exhaled and bit her bottom lip. “Well, most of the time it is positive. Most of the time you can help; you can perform a successful surgery and go out there and tell whoever’s waiting that you did it. And even if the surgery or treatment doesn’t go well you can still make a difference, have a positive impact on a patient or their family by being a great doctor as well as a great surgeon.”

Lisa nodded her head thoughtfully. “I guess I didn’t consider that. I didn’t think even the worst cases could give you a sense of purpose and satisfaction.”

“Often they’re the most rewarding,” Erica interjected. “But there are bad days, too. I guess for the same reasons as yours. When you lack the control or influence to do anything meaningful; when your skills are useless to you and you have to stand and watch as someone’s world collapses. You never get used to that.”

“How did I manage to pick the world’s most depressing topic of conversation!?” Lisa laughed and shook her head apologetically.

“No, it’s fine,” Erica assured her. She took a chance on the moment and watched for any reaction as she spoke. “I’m just really enjoying this. I don’t mind what you talk about.”

They held eye contact for a few moments as a blush crept across Lisa’s cheeks. Erica couldn’t read the significance, or lack thereof, of her body’s reaction. “Me too,” Lisa finally answered her. “As is evidenced by the fact we’ve been parked outside my school for ten minutes and I’ve yet to unfasten my seatbelt!”

They laughed and Lisa made to leave the car. “I’ll just be ten minutes,” she pouted her lips in thought, “but... you could come in and see if you like?”

Erica looked up at the inviting architecture and smiled a little. “It’s been years since I’ve been anywhere near a high school.”

“Come in,” Lisa invited again. “I’ll be quick and besides, it’s really creepy in there when there are no kids to yell at for running in the halls!”

Erica nodded and climbed out of the car, flicking the automatic lock as she heard Lisa’s door close.

“Have you been principal here for long?” she asked as they walked the dark halls of what seemed to be a very pleasant place.

“Four years,” Lisa answered. “I moved here for the job because the school was struggling and they felt it would be good for the place to have a ‘young and dynamic’ leader!” She laughed at her own description and waved her hand to dismiss it. “I’m not sure about that but it was such a great opportunity to get a principal position so young and turning this place around has been a labour of love, seriously.”

Erica watched her face become increasingly animated as she talked about the school; staff, pupils, community, she lit up when she spoke about them all.

“It’s so nice to watch you talk about this place,” Erica told her as they reached Lisa’s office. “You beam,” she pretended to look at photographs on the wall as she continued to pay quiet compliments. “I really like that.” Lisa stopped rummaging through her desk drawers for a moment and looked at Erica who held her gaze for a moment before returning to nose about the trinkets dotted around the place.

“O.K,” she announced. “I’m done, good to go.” They retraced their steps toward the entrance slowly and laughed at various attempts at artwork dotted along the walls. “We like to give everyone equal opportunity to express themselves!” she defended one particularly questionable portrait. “Even if the kid isn’t the most... conventionally talented artist!”

Erica bit her lip to prevent bursts of laughter and stopped abruptly as she spotted one piece tucked around a corner. Lisa stopped directly beside her and Erica had to grasp her hips as she dodged almost colliding with her slight form. She stepped around her and allowed a hand to linger on the small of a strong back as she pulled her towards the picture.

“Now this one is good!” Erica exclaimed. “Why is it almost hidden away here?!”

Lisa looked at the floor and shifted away from her touch. She exhaled deeply and rolled her eyes , seemingly at herself. Erica felt the loss of contact acutely and immediately regretted deviating from her usual cool distance.

“Can I ask you something?” Lisa exhaled and looked almost sadly at Erica.

“And this is just the most ironically appropriate of settings because I am about to sound so... high school!” she shifted from foot to foot.

“Sure,” Erica drew the word out in uncertainty and waited nervously, brow knitted.

“Are you...,” she faltered, “I mean this evening I’ve felt there might be... I think I’ve felt something from you and... I have definitely felt something from me. But I have been very wrong about this in the past. Very wrong,” she almost cringed at her own words. “And I would love to act all cool and nonchalant and just see what happens but...” she caught Erica’s confused expression and shook her head, quietly cursing her incoherence. Breathing in deeply, she continued. “Erica, I’m asking if you’re gay. Because I am and I’m attracted to you and despite being thirty six years old I still can’t do this. At all. So instead of worrying about it for the next who knows how long, I’m just asking.”

A wide smile had broken across Erica’s features and she extended a hand to touch the material of Lisa’s sleeve.

“Yes,” she answered the question, “I’m gay.” She smiled at the simple declaration and at how completely ordinary it seemed to utter those words aloud. “And I’m glad you asked, because I was wondering as well,” she cleared her throat and averted her eyes for a moment, nerves fluttering in her chest. “I’m attracted to you, too,” she added quietly and slid her hand down the arm she was touching, brushing hand against hand for a brief moment.

Lisa’s skin pimpled in response; she gazed at the floor as her face grew warmer. “Good,” she chanced a nervous glance at Erica and spoke quietly, “so what now?”

“Now... I should probably take you home and you should go to bed early with a whiskey; Mark’s injuries were pretty bad and that can really hit you when you get a chance to think.”

Lisa laughed and turned to lead them towards the door. “Is that your official prescription: early to bed and a shot of something strong?!”

“Yes, it is!” Erica replied in a mock stern tone. They smiled warmly at one and other and walked the rest of the distance to the car quietly. The journey was less than five minutes to Lisa’s home; her neighbourhood was quiet and picturesque, Erica had seriously considered a house very nearby when she had moved.

As Erica pulled in beside a warm looking home, Lisa turned to face her nervously. “Today has been a good day,” she appeared thoughtful as she spoke, “which is... unexpected, considering the circumstances.” She swallowed hard and ran a hand across the textured leather of the dash. Erica watched as the muscles in her forearm flexed and contracted on movement, she very nearly reached out to touch her but was drawn from her reverie by Lisa’s voice.

“Can we go out?” she asked. It was simple and understated and it made Erica’s heart beat a little faster; her pulse made itself known inside her ears.

“Tomorrow night?” the surgeon made no pretence of nonchalance. “I’m off from five and I know this great place to eat nearby; do you like tapas?”

Lisa looked at her for a moment and savoured the feeling of simple, lovely courtship that she had been missing for far too long. “I love it,” she replied honestly. “How’s eight?”

“It’s great,” Erica drew a pen and pad from the side pocket of the car and scrawled her number. “I’ll come over here and pick you up; it’s close enough to walk. But if you need to call me...” she handed the post-it over.

Lisa popped the door handle and turned to climb out. At the last moment she hesitated and clumsily turned back to Erica, leaning closer in an uncertain stop-start motion. She found the blonde’s cheek and placed a kiss close to her ear, it was simple and a little bashful and when she pulled back both women were blushing and clearing their throats. They smiled genuinely at each other as Lisa left the vehicle. “Tomorrow,” she said simply before closing the door. Erica nodded as she turned the ignition and drove away from the house, stomach wildly fluttering.

5x21... my way!

Fri, 01 May 2009 14:59:20 GMT

Callie found her in a break room; feet propped on the coffee table, charts across her lap and her tight braids a little dishevelled after a long day.

“Hey,” she smiled as she closed the door and leaned against it, looking quietly at Arizona for a moment. “Thank you,” she added simply.

She remained against the door and continued slowly, calmly. “Thank you for what you said earlier; that you’ll stick with me... us, even if I decide to tell my family we split. That’s what you were trying to say, right?”

Arizona pursed her lips, raised her brows a little and nodded slowly. Callie took the few steps across to the couch and sat beside her. “I’m not going to lie to them.” Arizona remained silent but nodded again, her eyes narrowing a little in question. “I don’t want to lie to them,” Callie extended her hand and pulled Arizona’s fingers into her grasp, toying gently with her long digits, her eyes fixed on short, manicured nails as she spoke.

“You do know how happy you’re making me, right?” After a few seconds she raised her eyes to look at Arizona and found a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. The blonde extended her other hand towards Callie’s and laced their fingers together fully, pulling her in close. She leaned in to place a kiss on the apex of her jaw and exhaled contentedly.

“I do now.”